wlwelphaba:

eilonnwy:

wlwelphaba:

anyway i hope that my fellow lesbians are mostly past the sentiment that dating bi girls immediately implies a ‘tangential relationship to men.’

 because you don’t know the dating history of every single bi girl on the planet, so you’re making ugly generalizations about a group of women who have, throughout our history, stood by our side and who face struggles similar to ours. like yes, men are fucking awful, and as lesbians we face horrible and often violent lesbophobia from men, but that isn’t on bi girls, it’s not their responsibility and it’s not their fault, and to write off other wlw simply because of their ***potential*** past or future choice of partners (again, you don’t know fuck all about who bi women are dating, who they will date, whether they have a preference for men or women, etc, and even if you did, it doesn’t fucking matter) is ugly and biphobic and yes it does contribute to the specific struggles bi women face, like higher rates of intimate partner violence. writing bi girls off as people who are just susceptible to men’s violence by virtue of being attracted to them and blaming them for whatever happens to them due to this is victim blaming and ugly, and we need to fucking do better than this. 

so no. most lesbians aren’t ~wary~ of dating bi girls. biphobes don’t get to speak for the rest of us who would rather stand in solidarity with our bi sisters than speak over them and play identity politics. 

Absolutely, and you don’t know the dating history of lesbians too which can also include men, I know it does for me. Relationships either last or they don’t, and so in general focusing on past and future relationships in any context is so unhealthy for your current one. Great post.

this is also a good point! i didn’t want to get into the gold star bullshit bc a) this was a positivity post for bi girls and b) if i got started on that mess i’d be here for hours but yes!