Tag: abuse

clitcheese:

the news keeps reporting on that uni of Newcastle hazing video as “including footage of students made to drink from each other’s ballsacks” and geez that’s an ambiguous sentence i keep thinking the worst and that they’re puncturing them with straws like fucking capri suns but, it’s just like, holding out the scrotum and pooling alcohol in it like a kinda fucked version of belly button shots but oh my god the way they say it every fucking time i just hear. that they’re drinking scrotum fluid. They Need to find a more clear way to say this

i’d like to formally apologise to anyone who’s gone through my nsfw expecting my nudes and got this instead

thefemaleofspecies:

Yall really be like “If hot women slept with incels they wont kill women!!1! “ and “If you stop punching nazis and dont turn down dates with them maybe they wont hate you so much!!” as if men having wives still dont kill and rape women and racist white men who have dated black women still dont go around abusing black people and calling cops on them when they breathe around them lol.

If having sex with one’s oppressor made the oppressor stop oppressing that group of people then slave owners in history would have freed their slaves ages ago and misogyny would not even exist lmao.

equisapien-rights-activist:

I feel like those “sexism/gendered expectations hurt men too” things would be a lot more effective if they didn’t just focus on internal issues guys being afraid to express their feelings or wear pink and acknowledged that, as not all men are equal in society, more external things like acts of violence that men experience at the hands of other men is often in part due to feelings about proving one’s masculinity. There have been multiple studies on how sexism is a gateway to white supremacy, for example and certain acts of racist violence when the target is a man can be an example of a man experiencing the negative effects of another man’s attempt to fulfill what he sees as gendered expectations (in addition to racism, because intersectionality and all). Homophobic violence against gay and bi men is perhaps a more obvious example of men suffering due to expectations of masculinity. Heck, if we’re going to expand this and include boys and not just men, the abuse some boys experience at the hands of the adult men in their life are acts of toxic masculinity. I think that’s why I get kind of a bad vibe when I see “feminist responses” stating that the ways that men are negatively impacted by gender expectations is their own fault, because I really don’t think some adult man dealing with trauma from his abusive father or who has faced homophobic or racist violence is really to blame for that on a personal level.

Edit: MRAs, get off of my post. This was meant to criticize a specific issue within certain sects of feminism and your irrelevant ramblings about your issues with “females” are not adding at all to the discussion I was trying to start.

newvagabond:

infiniteragequit:

sothisistherapy:

ericfvckingharris:

Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.

This is so important.

Abused kids speak a language you can’t learn

My heart races when I hear someone sigh and then the adrenaline takes forever to wear off. I hate having these reactions even when I know I am safe.

beachdeath:

beachdeath:

honestly like. the sheer lack of resources available to lgbt young people about abusive relationships is killing us and abuse educators need to wake the fuck up and start providing specific, targeted resources for people in gay relationships.

i mean, i’ve had friends who are struggling in dysfunctional relationships say things to me like, “i don’t understand why we can’t figure out how to communicate, like, we’re both women” and i’ve had friends who are trapped in actively abusive relationships but are unable to think of their experiences as abuse because virtually all the literature on abuse is about the specific ways in which men threaten and terrorize women. 

i think because so many of us go through childhoods and early heterosexual relationships that are so traumatizing and lonely, it’s easy to believe that gay love is this kind of healing panacea, somehow inherently more pure and stable than straight love. and like. while unquestionably the vast majority of domestic abuse is carried out by men against women, gay relationships are not magic. they are made up of flawed people, and they can become dysfunctional, and people can be vulnerable to abuse within them. and we need to stop pretending otherwise and start figuring out how to protect each other.

c0rpseductor:

honestly like

knowing so many people who have been through really unspeakable horrible things and having a few bad things in my own past too, i think there’s nothing that is more commendable for a traumatized person than, like, being able to just….live and grow

so many people assume “oh if you don’t get a job/get married/go to school/etc youre not successful” but for a lot of people it’s an incredible fight just to keep going every single day and i’m really proud of those people for keeping on no matter how hard it’s gotten, because even if sometimes you take a few steps back you keep going forward on that path

even if you do nothing but like eat chips and play video games, for fucks sake youre not dead, and a lot of people seem to forget that, like, that can be an achievement in and of itself.

i dont want to say like “just give up on doing things like going to school” because it’s important to do those things if/when it’s possible for you, but if all you can do is take care of your health and keep fighting, then it’s something you should be proud of! so many people will try to drill into your head that if you’re not Being Productive nothing you do matters but if you’re just fighting to stay afloat then it’s in your best interest to focus on that and be happy with yourself for keeping your head above water

literally so many people would never be able to walk a mile in your shoes, so remember that next time someone gives you shit for having a hard time. they probably couldn’t go through what you have.

furiousgoldfish:

behavioural and emotional patterns of living in abuse:

  • you spend most of your time shut in your room
  • you’re scared of footsteps approaching your door
  • you prefer not to come out unless there’s nobody home
  • when they come back you run to your room/safe place
  • you’re nervous and anxious if you have to spend time in presence of others
  • you try to get away from your home, you wish you could live somewhere else
  • your self-confidence is very low
  • you worry about making too much noise (have a feeling you’ll get yellet at
    or abused for it)
  • you try to move around as silently as possible and try to not be noticed by
    anyone
  • you feel uncomfortable and uneasy sitting at the same table as rest of
    family/housemates
  • you don’t feel like you belong here
  • you feel like a burden to your housemates
  • you don’t feel like you’re worth having around or supporting in any way
  • you don’t feel like anyone will ever love you or believe in you
  • you don’t feel like anything you do is good enough
  • you can’t stand someone watching you do things like cleaning or anything
    else you need to get done
  • you try really hard to still find good points about your life and cling to
    them
  • you strongly worry that you are somehow worse than anyone else
  • you feel like you’re behind on everyone and that you’re failing to live
    your life properly
  • you don’t feel like anything would have changed if you died, or even that
    it would be better if you did

if you’re experiencing most of this, you’re going through abuse. Your value
isn’t in any way less than other humans, and you are absolutely not any kind of
burden. You are human who is forced to live in a way humans aren’t meant to
live. You are in living conditions that disable you from feeling happy,
fulfilled, or even seeing yourself as a human being.  You are suffering. What is being done to you
is not okay. You deserve better than this.

boydetective:

lilajanet:

 #can i mention how cool it is to have a variation of sherlock holmes where he says stuff like this #because it’s important #and this episode is my favourite so far because it’s surprisingly accurate #and it was just great to hear him say this #because sherlock holmes is of course intelligent and a modern sherlock would know this #and even though this holmes does have that social crass and indelicacy he’s softer in some ways to the others #which is what makes him different and a new take and interesting to watch #he’s a rare fictional example of a character who is pragmatic and driven and a bit socially blunt but also has a firm moral intelligence too #just because a character can be blunt and rude and not understand that they’ve just insulted someone doesn’t have to mean #that they don’t understand right from wrong  (via teacupsandcyanide)

[Caption: Two gifs of Sherlock Holmes on Elementary. He says, “Victims of horrific abuse are often protective of their abusers. / It doesn’t mean we should send them back for seconds.”]

Source: supernatasha