Tag: whoops

7 things you can do instead of writing your novel

azriona:

nyctonaut:

1. HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

Nothing brightens up your day like stopping in the middle of your daily routine to contemplate life’s mysteries and the pointlessness of your own existence. The universe poses many impossible questions and it’s imperative that you answer these questions instead of writing. Why do you even exist? Where did you come from? Where are you going? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

2. BINGE-WATCH TWENTY SHOWS ON NETFLIX

It’s okay. It’s “research”. How else can you justify sitting through WWII In Colour until 2 in the morning? Or better yet, pick a show with a million seasons. Preferably one from the 90s. FRIENDS, The X-Files, & Buffy are all good choices. Be sure to cry copiously during the season finales and give yourself a week long break from writing to recover emotionally.

3. START A BLOG

Why write your story when you can write about writing your story? Complaining on the internet to complete strangers about your creative failures is an age-old tradition. Even Hemingway did it! Give out crappy writing advice, rant about your characters’ personal lives, or just whine about your day job and hope your boss never finds your blog.

4. TWEAK YOUR OUTLINE

This novel is going to be perfect, goddammit! And you can’t get perfection from an imperfect outline. Sure, it’s been months since you last looked at the thing but now is the perfect time to tweak all the scenes and create meticulous interviews for every single tertiary character mentioned in your book. Even if you consider yourself a stubborn pantser, you won’t be able to resist the temptation of creating multi-page detailed outlines you’ll probably never use again!

Tweak your outline until it’s absolutely perfect. Tweak your outline until your story morphs into something totally unrecognizable and you find the real story hiding within. And if you’ve ever felt like your novel is missing something special, now is the time to add that convoluted subplot involving half-baked conspiracy theories, Trump’s duck fluff, and your high school English teacher who gave you an C-. That’ll show Mr. Stuart, that uncultured troglodyte!

5. CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!

Let’s be real: you really can’t write your novel until the house is spotless. That pile of dishes you’ve left neglected in the sink aren’t going to clean themselves! And let’s not forget vacuuming, dusting, cleaning out the fridge, and scrubbing the spaces between your keyboard with a very small, very tiny, broomstick.

6. OPEN SEVENTEEN NEW TABS

You’re a multitasker. Why stare blankly at your word document for an hour when you can open a billion new tabs and browse the interwebs for the rest of the day? Here, I’ll even get you started:

  • Tab 1: Youtube cat videos on autoplay (for the ambience)
  • Tab 2: Pinterest for all your story inspiration pins!
  • Tab 3: That one Wikipedia article for “research”
  • Tabs 4-10: TVTropes pages for “reference”
  • Tab 11: Spotify playlist (for the right atmosphere)
  • Tab 12: Facebook page of the person you’re stalking
  • Tab 13: Google search result for “How long does it take for a body to decompose and I’m asking for a book I’m writing please don’t arrest me FBI agent monitoring my computer”
  • Tab 14-16: Three separate Tumblr dashboards for inexplicable reasons
  • Tab 17: Blog article that advises you to stop wasting time on the internet and get back to writing  

7. BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC

Even Hemingway did it!

My score:6 out of 7.

furiousgoldfish:

behavioural and emotional patterns of living in abuse:

  • you spend most of your time shut in your room
  • you’re scared of footsteps approaching your door
  • you prefer not to come out unless there’s nobody home
  • when they come back you run to your room/safe place
  • you’re nervous and anxious if you have to spend time in presence of others
  • you try to get away from your home, you wish you could live somewhere else
  • your self-confidence is very low
  • you worry about making too much noise (have a feeling you’ll get yellet at
    or abused for it)
  • you try to move around as silently as possible and try to not be noticed by
    anyone
  • you feel uncomfortable and uneasy sitting at the same table as rest of
    family/housemates
  • you don’t feel like you belong here
  • you feel like a burden to your housemates
  • you don’t feel like you’re worth having around or supporting in any way
  • you don’t feel like anyone will ever love you or believe in you
  • you don’t feel like anything you do is good enough
  • you can’t stand someone watching you do things like cleaning or anything
    else you need to get done
  • you try really hard to still find good points about your life and cling to
    them
  • you strongly worry that you are somehow worse than anyone else
  • you feel like you’re behind on everyone and that you’re failing to live
    your life properly
  • you don’t feel like anything would have changed if you died, or even that
    it would be better if you did

if you’re experiencing most of this, you’re going through abuse. Your value
isn’t in any way less than other humans, and you are absolutely not any kind of
burden. You are human who is forced to live in a way humans aren’t meant to
live. You are in living conditions that disable you from feeling happy,
fulfilled, or even seeing yourself as a human being.  You are suffering. What is being done to you
is not okay. You deserve better than this.

flowerais:

take chances with people. if you want to get closer to them, make sure they know you want to spend time with them. go to have coffee with them, text them first, make them feel loved, tell them little things that you love about them. most people find it hard to make the first move, both in friendships and romantic relationships, so a lot of potential relationships never happen. life is too short. so go for it, because more often than not it can make life brighter and softer and happier.

skyhillian:

I hate that one of the biggest parts of my bpd that’s still active is the automatic assumption that I’m being ignored or that someone’s mad at me because they’re not talking to me. It makes me feel like such a shit person for being jealous and sad that someone is asleep or playing a video game or on the phone.