1994 Star Trek: The Next Generation pin-up concepts by Jay Scott Pike
Tag: tng
Me, immature, watching TNG: L’uwoxanna Troi bugs the shit out of me.
Me, a grown ass woman, watching DS9: The ambassador of of Betazed is s sexy old space goddess and never feels shame and I want to be her.
Salia being a shapeshifer is a selling point. Imagine being able to satisfy your fantasies with the one you love and in your bedroom rather than having to employ the jizz mopper of the holodeck. Def about the dishonesty.
Oh, there’s no jizz mopper on the holodeck. It’s all automatically collected by the ship’s computer (in a subsystem that is beyond the scope of this post) and then processed directly into the food replicators.
humor in the late 1980s: Data is *finger quotes* “fully-functional”
humor in the late 2010s: Data fucks
you could say he’s fully fucktional
humor in the late 1980s: Data is *finger quotes* “fully-functional”
humor in the late 2010s: Data fucks
Riker is like, That Guy from every story i’ve ever heard from lesbians and ace women that goes like “in high school i told myself i had a crush on a guy because i thought he was the kind of guy i was meant to be attracted to”. he’s like, tall? and he has a jawline? guys in movies have jawlines. his eyes could be described as “piercing” when he doesn’t look like a smug piece of shit. he logically must be hot.
like. i tend to headcanon almost every woman as bi, because 1) i’m bi and i’m biased and 2) they’re all intended to be straight and fall in love with dudes, and making them bi is an easy and painless way to be able to relate to that at all. but Deanna Troi is a lesbian, and riker is a demon taking the form of her internalised heteronormativity. every character who fucks riker and leaves by the end of the episode is a lesbian coming to her senses. no one attracted to men has ever looked at riker as a sexual candidate. he looks like a chore. he’s the product of a writing room full of men all with unhappy unsatisfied wives going, “what do women like?”. Women Like Bad Boys, Right. so let’s make him the Absolute Fucking Worst. he’s like they tried to write Kirk 2.0, taking all the bits that straight men thought made kirk attractive. women must love guys who fuck around with hot space women. that’s what makes him hot. women must love bad acting on characters who seem constantly frustrated. he does sports is sports a character trait? Make him an Alpha Male, women love that, none of this ‘brave, smart, selfless hero who tackles serious ethical dilemmas’ nerd bullshit.
I can’t even watch Star Trek with my boyfriend because every time Data appears on the screen my boyfriend goes off with “here comes that Real Good Boy love that Soft Robot Dude what a Cinnamon Roll Man yes-siree Absolute Best Boyo right there.”
female alien: my husband that i loved very much just died 😦
riker: this is so sad computer play careless whisper
*laforge voice* fuck what the picard said








