Tag: alcohol

clitcheese:

the news keeps reporting on that uni of Newcastle hazing video as “including footage of students made to drink from each other’s ballsacks” and geez that’s an ambiguous sentence i keep thinking the worst and that they’re puncturing them with straws like fucking capri suns but, it’s just like, holding out the scrotum and pooling alcohol in it like a kinda fucked version of belly button shots but oh my god the way they say it every fucking time i just hear. that they’re drinking scrotum fluid. They Need to find a more clear way to say this

i’d like to formally apologise to anyone who’s gone through my nsfw expecting my nudes and got this instead

7 things you can do instead of writing your novel

azriona:

nyctonaut:

1. HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

Nothing brightens up your day like stopping in the middle of your daily routine to contemplate life’s mysteries and the pointlessness of your own existence. The universe poses many impossible questions and it’s imperative that you answer these questions instead of writing. Why do you even exist? Where did you come from? Where are you going? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

2. BINGE-WATCH TWENTY SHOWS ON NETFLIX

It’s okay. It’s “research”. How else can you justify sitting through WWII In Colour until 2 in the morning? Or better yet, pick a show with a million seasons. Preferably one from the 90s. FRIENDS, The X-Files, & Buffy are all good choices. Be sure to cry copiously during the season finales and give yourself a week long break from writing to recover emotionally.

3. START A BLOG

Why write your story when you can write about writing your story? Complaining on the internet to complete strangers about your creative failures is an age-old tradition. Even Hemingway did it! Give out crappy writing advice, rant about your characters’ personal lives, or just whine about your day job and hope your boss never finds your blog.

4. TWEAK YOUR OUTLINE

This novel is going to be perfect, goddammit! And you can’t get perfection from an imperfect outline. Sure, it’s been months since you last looked at the thing but now is the perfect time to tweak all the scenes and create meticulous interviews for every single tertiary character mentioned in your book. Even if you consider yourself a stubborn pantser, you won’t be able to resist the temptation of creating multi-page detailed outlines you’ll probably never use again!

Tweak your outline until it’s absolutely perfect. Tweak your outline until your story morphs into something totally unrecognizable and you find the real story hiding within. And if you’ve ever felt like your novel is missing something special, now is the time to add that convoluted subplot involving half-baked conspiracy theories, Trump’s duck fluff, and your high school English teacher who gave you an C-. That’ll show Mr. Stuart, that uncultured troglodyte!

5. CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!

Let’s be real: you really can’t write your novel until the house is spotless. That pile of dishes you’ve left neglected in the sink aren’t going to clean themselves! And let’s not forget vacuuming, dusting, cleaning out the fridge, and scrubbing the spaces between your keyboard with a very small, very tiny, broomstick.

6. OPEN SEVENTEEN NEW TABS

You’re a multitasker. Why stare blankly at your word document for an hour when you can open a billion new tabs and browse the interwebs for the rest of the day? Here, I’ll even get you started:

  • Tab 1: Youtube cat videos on autoplay (for the ambience)
  • Tab 2: Pinterest for all your story inspiration pins!
  • Tab 3: That one Wikipedia article for “research”
  • Tabs 4-10: TVTropes pages for “reference”
  • Tab 11: Spotify playlist (for the right atmosphere)
  • Tab 12: Facebook page of the person you’re stalking
  • Tab 13: Google search result for “How long does it take for a body to decompose and I’m asking for a book I’m writing please don’t arrest me FBI agent monitoring my computer”
  • Tab 14-16: Three separate Tumblr dashboards for inexplicable reasons
  • Tab 17: Blog article that advises you to stop wasting time on the internet and get back to writing  

7. BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC

Even Hemingway did it!

My score:6 out of 7.

disgruntledmushroom:

chefpyro:

having an opinion on philosophy makes you a philosopher. even if you think philosophy is stupid and pointless, THAT’S A PHILOSOPHY. you can’t escape

suddenly Scotchtape’s comic makes sense to me

[id: a three panel comic. a grey alien wearing a red hoodie, drinking from a red plastic cup and smoking, says “Socrates was a lil bitch.” they take a drink from the cup and say “i don’t know jack shit neither, but you don’t see me braggin about it.’ they look down and see they’re suddenly wearing a yellow sash that reads “SOCRATES 2.0″, and respond “aw hell”. the artist is scotchtapeofficial, source here]

emmersdrawberry:

all those ‘say no to drugs’ assemblies in school where WACK i never once had the pot head kids push the Devils Lettuce on me. they’d be like ‘hey u wanna smoke some of this here Blunt of Marajoouana?’ and i’d be like ‘no thanks i dont smoke’ and they’d be like ‘ok cool’ and never bother me about it again

drinkers? NO CHILL AT ALL. even into adulthood people act like i’ve slain their child when i say i am completely sober. like every single time i’ve said no to drinking some person is like ‘what about jello shots there’s barely any in it’ or they’ll leave me a solo cup of wine ‘in case you change your mind’ and when by the end of the night i haven’t had it they’re all ‘you didn’t want any?’ LIKE? YAH I SAID I DIDNT? 

anti drug psa’s are fine but they gotta talk about drinking too bc never once did anyone i know who did drugs push me to do it too but everyone i tell i am sober tries to find a way to get me to drink like i said ‘i am sober but change my mind’ or smth 

[id: a simpsons screencap of marge looking into a fridge full of cartons of egg nog. marge is labelled “me, choosing a terrible coping skill”, the various cartons are labelled “Binge drinking”, “Watching porn”, “Isolating myself for days”, “Gaming all day”, “Getting really fucking high”, “Browsing reddit for hours”, “Crying into a pillow”, “Not eating”]

Source: uncle-dre

one weird thing that’s evident if u watch sgu 8 times is that Dr Brody is right about everything. other scientists guess around at things, or admit they don’t have any idea about something, or are like Rush and know everything, except they’re cryptic, withholding information and are just horrible to be around. but Brody is never wrong about anything we see on screen. if he says anything at all, he’s on the right track.

he’s never seen bumbling around and admitting he doesn’t know something, or even saying he needs more time for a solution. possibly because he’s a minor character and that’s the job of the more well developed scientist characters.

alternative hypothesis: everyone else is a theoretical physicist and astronomer and he’s the only engineer. it’s entirely in-character that he just knows to shut up until he already has a solution.

alternative alternative hypothesis: it’s a low-level magical power he gets from being the ship’s bartender. all tv bartenders get that nearly omniscient “knowing exactly what to say at the right time” straight-talk ability, and it bleeds into his knowledge base as a scientist.

the fact you can get drunk while bodyswapped through the ancient communication stones raises some philosophical questions.

why are you drunk at all if your consciousness is plugged into another person’s body? if the stones transmit your mind out of your body, then the drunk person should be whoever has the drunk body. you shouldn’t get drunk in their body, they should be getting drunk on the other side of the universe. but no, in the show being in a drunk body is what makes you drunk, and the person on the other end isn’t affected, even if their body is drunk, despite their mind coming from a body which is currently drunk.

it implies that using the stones doesn’t transmit your mind from your body like a signal, but instead there’s a complete disconnect between your body and mind. body and mind are properly swapped, as if there’s a mind, containing your memories and your self, that can exist on its own as separate to the brain.

although, this does make sense in the context of the show. there is, literally, a computer hard drive full of ghosts we find in season 2, as well as, Ascension as a concept. this thing with the stones is just the weirdest example of the existence of a soul or something in this show now that I’ve noticed it.

tieflinggay:

‘trans character’ ao3 tag drinking game:

  1. drink when the fic is rated M or higher
  2. drink if the trans character is gnc (that is, masculine trans women or feminine trans men)
  3. drink if the fic has any sort of dominant/submissive dynamics, two drinks if the trans man is submissive or if the trans woman if dominant
  4. drink if it’s clearly and obviously fetish material
  5. drink if the character’s transness is written as tragic
  6. do a shot if the fic involves pregnancy
  7. do a shot for every fic revolving around dysphoria that wasn’t written by a trans/nb author
  8. i was trying to think of a finish your drink prompt but actually just finish your drink whenever you think “what’s wrong with cis people” and have to exit the tab for your own mental wellbeing