eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Miserable Mill: Part Two

↳  “Unless you are a murderer or a taxidermist, it is rare to have actual skeletons in your closet as opposed to metaphorical ones.”

eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Miserable Mill: Part One

↳
“’Out of the woods’ is an expression referring to the fact that woods are dangerous places to be. I am sorry to say that while Violet was right that the Baudelaires were almost out of the forest, they were far from out of the woods.”

eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Wide Window: Part One

↳ “I’m sure you know there are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational, or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans had a fear of Count Olaf which makes perfect sense because he’s an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, that would be an irrational fear because lemon meringue pie is delicious and has never hurt a soul.”

eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Reptile Room: Part Two
↳ “What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for it, just as ink can stain a white sheet of paper. You can never forget what transpired in that place, just as words in ink can never be unwritten.”

eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Reptile Room: Part One

↳ “I’m sorry to say this was the last time the screeching iguana clock would strike before the arrival of dramatic irony.”

eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Bad Beginning: Part Two
↳ “Having a brilliant idea isn’t as easy as turning on a light, but just as a single bulb can illuminate even the most depressing of rooms, the right idea can shed light on a depressing situation.”

eggogorgon:

Lemony Snicket in The Bad Beginning: Part One

↳ “If only this world weren’t such a wicked and topsy-turvy place, this story might’ve turned out differently.”