So how old were you when you realized Meowth of Team Rocket trying to steal Pikachu was just rehashing the age old tale of a cat trying to catch a mouse?
god pigeons have such good coos. theyre like horoorororo. i love it. it vibrates in the chambers of my heart and awakens my soul from a slumber that was far, far too long. horoorororo
i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking
what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp
like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have
like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious
now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude
and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude
and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker
and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey
so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?
this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker!
for the next pokemon game nicknaming should work on a professional horse racing level, ie literally no pokemon in all of history can have the same nickname, also you get unlimited space to name your pokemon, also you literally must nickname your pokemon, also and this is the most important bit everything is online so there is a constantly updated database of names that you are no longer allowed to use, this is the gameplay innovation this series has been waiting for
pokemon aren’t animals they’re spirits, in an animist sense. that’s why you get key pokémon and ice cream pokémon.
no its not “dog fighting” you boring edgy youtube man they’re just fuckin ghosts who love to throw down
phantump isn’t literally a dead child it’s like, the idea of a child getting lost and dying in the forest. mewtwo exists because scientists tried to create a pokemon and by trying, they did.
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