fuck-the-discourse:

princeofaros:

princeofaros:

If sex is so important to you that you don’t think you could be in a relationship with someone without it, that’s… something to bring up before even getting involved with someone. Y’know, so the other person knows what they’re getting into. If you assume that sex is important to everyone’s relationships and end up dating someone who doesn’t want to have sex ever, that’s not your partner’s fault. They have every right to say no. You’re the one who walked into this with expectations and didn’t tell them what those were.

And before someone tells me people who don’t want sex should mention that too, that’s true! But typically, they do. They don’t make that a surprise. Unless they just didn’t know sex wasn’t for them and thought they’d like it if they just tried it, which they tend to hear from others. In which case, you can’t tell people something you don’t know. That’s not their fault. Likewise, if you think you can be in a relationship without sex and find that you can’t after you try it, that’s also not your fault nor is it theirs.

Basically, people with different needs shouldn’t hide said needs from each other if they plan to be in a relationship.

Straight culture normalises this idea that sex is just what everyone wants and needs, but also sex is icky and ew, why would you ever want to talk about your sexual needs or consent, you weirdo! You should just instinctively know what your partner wants and when they want it!

This isn’t just harmful to people with sex repulsion, it’s harmful to everyone. Sex is one of those things that’s kind of important to bring up. Just like whether or not you want children, for instance. I don’t understand why this is contraversial statement in any way.