Tony Abbott has suggested the use of the military to force states to do more natural gas mining.
“It makes sense! Haven’t you heard of the Green Army? They’re trying to save the environment! The only natural response as a conservative is to you military force to make sure they don’t succeed!” Tony slammed his fist down on the table.
“But Tony… The Green Army isn’t actually an army… and also it’s a government initiative… we’re in charge of that” replied a senior government official. “…and also that’d be illegal…”
“To hell with the law! I want those greeny tree hugging bastards shot and our natural resources mined and our planet’s atmosphere also shot to hell with greenhouse gasses – which I also want you to shoot as account of them having the word “green” in them!” Tony flung his hands up in a fit of rage and suddenly noticed a tree branch swinging just outside the window. The green leaves infuriated him and in a swift lunge his jumped out of the first story window and started attacking the trees with his fist.
“Do as I command thee!”
The rest of the party room leaned in close to each other.
“He realises he’s not Prime Minister anymore right? Did… did no one remember to tell him that 2 years ago or…?” one person asked. Everyone looked around at each other and shrugged.
“I… wait… didn’t you?”
“No. I thought you did…”
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