strongorcbutch:

neckspike:

carpetmunchies:

really dislike that such a big part of (cis) lesbian comradery and casual conversation (unless I’m around other cis lesbians who are very critical of it, which there are) is joking, sometimes really maliciously, about how nasty “dick” is and how slutty people (women really) who “take dick” are. Like not only does it isolate transgender women and breed a culture of transmisogyny that is … really unnecessary (you don’t have to tell nasty jokes like that to talk about your lesbianism) but it leads to separation and strife between bi women and lesbians bc even though many cis lesbians think it’s ~just joaks~ there is a value system among lesbians (and bi women) based on whether one has slept with a man or not or how many men she has been with and, like, I don’t know how that is at all a good or healthy way to measure a woman’s love for other women. patriarchy literally already has a value system built around how some kind of “phallic” contact taints a woman. men are even uncomfortable with women’s clits bc they can be seen as phallic. like, lesbians don’t need this and there’s actually nothing ~radical~ about including it in our culture.

it’s just het purity culture repackaged to divide us, it’s shit garbage

Is really, totally is. Like I grew up in an evangelical christian household, and went to those kind of churches up until my late teenage years. Purity culture was a HUGE thing in those churches at the time, with youth pastors constantly driving the idea that having sex “tainted” you in some way that made you unfit/undesirable for any future partner. Legit watching youth pastors go “what if someone licked this water bottle, would you want to drink from it then?” Still makes me sick to think how many kids they made feel like shit with that nonsense. And the first time I encountered gold star bullshit in the lesbian community, the first thing I thought was “wow…this looks really familiar”. It’s the same values translated over and it’s really fucking gross.