pain is weird. this is probably just my weird brand of deontology but i’m often mad at myself for just. being in pain. it’s like. like if my job in this life is to minimise suffering when i can. i’m doing a bad job of just that with just my own pain. painkillers are like a physical thing that i keep on me all day how am i still bad at this? how am i still putting myself through suffering, even small shit, when that’s basically the one rule i actually try to keep myself to. like i have one responsibility and i’m still negligent.