i have a drs appointment with a specialist who’s been amazingly unhelpful before and refused to write me an actual diagnosis bc i could use it to get on disability pension which could ‘discourage me from getting better’, and now i get to rely on this guy to do that again and to support me moving out and into supported accommodation, and i know from past experience that if this goes badly again im probs going to feel suicidal for the next few weeks, so, fingers crossed im not sick and suicidal forever