hm the reason i’ve been on this site so long and why my blog ended up the way it did is really just. because i never settled on actually doing anything. like, i decided this blog was going to have no selfies or identifiable information, because i wanted to join in w discourse, and fighting w terfs, bc it was 2016 and that felt very important. so this blog is basically anonymous. and if any of you have paid attention you’ve probably thought, oh this bitch just reblogs shit all day and vents, and has never answered an ask or done an ask meme or a prompt ever, she just kind of does her own shit there quietly, and vents occasionally but doesn’t actually ever want to reach out for help. idk. this site worked for me because it’s like the opposite of social media. i don’t have to talk here. and i guess this is all tied in w my illness and, really it’s scrolling tumblr or watching day time tv. tumblr is what i do when im too tired to think or focus on anything longer than a few sentences. i am a content sponge, basically

i tried using discord this year and that didn’t last a week. i made a twitter just for following topics i’m interested in, and i haven’t ever tweeted, which i guess is a huge faux pas. i just, what would i post about? i haven’t even been paying any attention to fandoms lately. i keep thinking, i should make a blog where i can post selfies and move all my mutuals over to that and leave this one to quietly rot. that has been the plan for a year now. i also thought, what if i make a twilight zone themed suggestion blog. i set up the theme and everything. that would have been nice if i could have actually stuck to it. i thought even, i’m going to get back into art and have a blog for that. i have a drawing tablet in the mail. idk. i guess it’s part, woe is me, my life isn’t interesting and i have nothing to do and my social media is just a way of consuming content to keep the adhd demon satisfied because staring at the wall will not help, and partly decision paralysis. i don’t know what kind of social media account i want to run because i don’t know what i want to do. i could start a professional portfolio blog for art or dnd homebrew, or i could write fic and have a fandom blog, or, idk. so this is what i have ended up with, an anonymous blog where no one knows me and i just reblog shit and vent sometimes. and if tumblr is dying, i really don’t have a plan b. probably daytime tv. maybe even videogames if my illness persists. i’m trying to follow people on twitter so i don’t lose them forever if this site does tank, but be warned that i really don’t know what to do with it yet, and i probably never will, except wait for the next tumblr replacement to be announced.