truth be told, i’ve needed to leave this site for a long time. it’s been an endless black hole of scrolling that’s taken up my life since, 2009? 2008 maybe? i’m not looking at my first blog to check.

it’s been the worst thing for my adhd to have an endlessly-updating source of content, and it’s been pulling me back on ever improving. my first blog nearly hit the 99k like limit, and all the time i was telling myself i’m going to go back and reblog some of those one day. i didn’t. i’m going to have to actively try not to do this all over again on twitter/fb/instagram, and not build up an identity around only fucking reblogging shit. and, i really can’t only blame adhd on this. i’ve been thinking like, what if a mutual would miss me? so i stayed, and continued to talk to about none of you. i’m weak, and being unreasonably scared of being bored or alone is something i need to leave behind.

i haven’t even uploaded any content here, so nothing is really lost i guess, except an archive of every little thing i’ve been interested in.

my plan was, maybe tumblr would be healthy for me if i actually used it to make friends. and, i didn’t make a good enough effort. i guess the juries still out on if that worked

i just needed a push. i only felt confident enough deleting the app a week before the titty ban was announced. and i’m honestly already healthier for it. i’m always going to be grateful to this site for making me trans though. idk how else to end this post