Until like, a few months ago, I thought that coffee waking people up and making them jittery and nervous if they have too much of it was just a funny cartoon trope because no matter how much caffeine I had, it always only had a very mild effect on me that subsided very soon, sometimes making me sleepier than I originally was instead. Then I learned that caffeine actually DOES have a palpable effect on most people and I just had ADHD
Author: peasantchick
ngl sometimes I shove my fists into plastic cups and pretend they’re hooves for a couple joy filled minutes. it’s really relaxing and I’d recommend it
This is both amazing and profoundly irritating – the exact writing equivalent of that thing artists do – you know, how they’ll mess up anything that’s on expensive paper and planned in every single detail but get them doodling during a boring lesson and suddenly they’re Michel-bloody-angelo.
Image caption: [ a tweet from Lindsey Shmindsey] throwback to that time I composed a magnet poem about werewolves and it was the deepest shit I ever wrote. [poem reads as following] moon drunk monster, beautiful and strange. Howl your melancholy question, and tell me which you dread more, the echo or the answer? [end image caption]
D&D Hardmode
Nobody in the party is allowed to have a backstory with dead parents.
Too easy, meet me in my gauntlet. D&D Nightmare mode: Nobody in the party is allowed to have a sad backstory.
your party all has to schedule time to visit their live parents roughly once a month even if that conflicts with their normal quest flow. bringing souvenirs for your younger siblings is encouraged
Girls get made fun of for everything might as well do what you want lol
not to be dramatic but this mentality literally freed me
“In a game with no consequences, why are you still playing the ‘Good’ side?”
Because being mean makes me feel bad.
Because my no-consequences power fantasy is being able to help everyone.
you can’t love lesbians and hate trans lesbians you can’t love lesbians and hate black lesbians you can’t love lesbians and hate disabled lesbians you just can’t
NRA says it’s broke and on the verge of collapse
hell yeah babey
i’ll send my thoughts and prayers
me: *holds up a strip of paper that says TWIN PEAKS*
me: *folds the paper together until it just says TWINKS*
[x files music plays]Please fucking bring back vine I’m so sick of reading these posts because I swear I can see them.
anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you
i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.
he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.
so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.
stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.
and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.
he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.
i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.
the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.
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