Ive never played dnd before but if I ever get to be a dm Iโm going to present it as a serious game the first 2 or 3 sessions no funny sounding names no nothing its all high fantasy and serious before completely shattering it in the worst way possible
explain
Sure, imagine Your party stuck in a cave fighting wild catlike creatures or something alike.
The creatures have blocked the way out And the only other way out seems to be a steady but shallow stream of water going deep inside the cave. You are losing the Fight but then you look up at The entrance And you see a silhouette of a man in expensive looking clothing looking down on you. You plead for help but he doesnt respond, instead he starts charging a spell Which makes the water coming from outside cover the caves Floor. The spell Weaves Around Your party but is starting to tug at the creatures. When you look up at the man you can see his face because of the glow coming from his hands, he looks middle aged, human with dark skin and short grey hair. His unexpressive eyes suddenly turn bright red as he says in a calm yet powerfull voice:
โPerish.โ
All the animals in the cave get swooped away by the water, letting out one final cry as they get carried into the abyss. he slowly walks to Your weakened party. He stops right in front of you.
โHail And Well met, my name is Barack, descendent of the house of White.โ
โhail and well met my
name is barack descendent
of the house of white
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
[image description: a tweet from RoAnna Sylver (@RoAnna Syvler) reading โThis June, please rememeber that there are more LGBT books than the ones you see everywhere put out by the Big 5, ad indies are amazing/worthy.โ The next reblog is a tweet from Heather Rose Jones (@heatherrosejones) reading: โMaking a list of queer SFF for Pride Month? Remember to look outside the mainstream presses. Donโt shut queer publishers out of queer lit.โ]
Hereโs a bunch of Goodreads lists that might help!ย
Has anyone else noticed how, when you have a chronic condition of some kind, that thereโs always the basic assumption from people around you that youโre not already doing everything you can?
Itโs all about the illusion of control. People who are healthy like to believe they can always keep being healthy if they do the right things. They donโt want to think about how good people get struck with terrible circumstances for no reason.
So they keep assuming that if they got sick, they could do something to make it better.
And if youโre still sick, that must mean youโve done something wrong or not done enough.
Nail. Head. The same attitude can be seen in how a lot of people talk about poverty.
And sexual assault. All they have to do is not go there not drink that not wear that not date them and theyโll be fine, right?
The Just World theory – that as long as I do everything right, Iโm safe, and everybody who isnโt safe is at fault for not doing everything right – is perhaps the most harmful and widespread mindset today
if you ever see a conservative and wonder just how in the world they have so little compassion? ย they are genuinely convinced that most – not all, but most – bad things that happen are the fault of the person affected, because then they donโt have to feel bad
somebody explaining this to me as a young adult was, quite literally, the start of me seeing the world in a new way and moving considerably to the left politically. by letting go of the just world mindset my conception of reality shifted considerably
My friend told me that his strength trainer in high school was a ripped power top bear whose boyfriend was also a massive bear. The two bears actually wrestled for an hour before their first time having sex to establish which was the dominant one.
To this day, I still think that to be the most masculine thing Iโve ever heard in my life. Straight men need to up their game.
Iโm really tired and confuse, why was a woodland animal teach ur friend how to lift weights?
So I had the strangest dream this weekend and nobody understands me so I need to share it with you because you might. Press J to skip this post if you canโt deal, I will accept this.
In my dream I was standing on the back deck of a rural cabin that overlooked a beautiful Vermont/Scottish Highlands landscape of unspoiled wilderness. It was a crisp, perfect autumn morning. I held a cup of cooling coffee in my hands as I leaned against the railing and scanned the perfect rolling hills in the midground, behind which the great patterned mountains with their snowcaps marched on until they blended with the horizon: #aesthetic
As I gazed at a distant meadow clearing in the trees, a pair of brightly coloured humanoid creatures emerged from the woods and began to dance for each other. It was an esoteric, beautiful mating dance, a strange combination of instinct and choreography. I felt awe washing over me. I marvelled. I felt a deep sense of wonder and peace as I observed this vanishingly rare encounter that I had never thought to observe in person. These animals were instantly recognisable but had never been studied in the wild. I felt incredibly humbled and privileged to witness this behaviour – I knew that I was the first human witness to observe this behaviour – and I reached for my phone, wondering if I should film it, so it could join the scholarly record, where it NEEDED to be. This could change everything. But then I held back – something told me โno,โ to let the creatures have their privacy.
Ok, I canโt go any further without telling you that they were Teletubbies.
A red one and a yellow one. I know. I know. Stay with me here.
The cryptids melted back into the woods. My subconscious drew a discreet veil over the rest of their mating ritual, but I knew instinctively that this had been a dance of courtship. I was busy pondering the implications, because they were critical. You see, although the creatures were instantly recognisable as Teletubbies, as I had studied them, even at a distance, I had an incredible realisation.
They were adult Teletubbies.
This realisation dawned on me and in my dream I understood it fully. The ones that we know of – the captive ones that we have seen on television – are juveniles. In fact, they are the equivalent of toddlers. When you see the adults this becomes obvious. The garbled speech and silly movements of the four captive Teletubbies we know are the babbles of babyhood, a private primal toddler-language brewed up between sentient beings who have never encountered an adult of their own kind.
The adult Teletubbies have more branching, complex antlers and shaggy coats. They are less brightly coloured. They are terrifyingly large. Their strangely human faces, emerging from the thick fur, are unquestionably adult; remote, serene, reproachful. Their television screens are glitchy, esoteric and unknowable. They are cryptids whose public exploitation has undermined their rarity and their strange, alien dignity.
In my dream my feelings of awe and peace turned to great sadness at the fate of the captive toddler Teletubbies. I realised that I had to be the scientist who brought this discovery to the world and raised awareness of their plight. And I also questioned: are Teletubbies like axolotls? Do they exhibit neoteny? (Axolotls, the cute aquarium pets with flaring gills, are actually juveniles of an amphibious species – if given the right conditions theyโll grow up into land-dwelling black newts. But they can breed in their aquatic juvenile form, and most spend their whole lives in this form. Deprived of their wild potential, will the Teletubbies ever mature? Or are they merely experiencing a long childhood, natural for a species that is unimaginably long-lived?)
So in my dream my husband came out onto the back deck and I began to share these discoveries with him and before I could even bring up the axolotls he just said โwhat the fucking fuckโ and went away again.
I woke up disgruntled and unable to capture the feeling of peace and sadness. I then tried to explain this to my husband in the waking world, and he said โwhat the fucking fuckโ and walked away before I even got to the explanation of the Teletubbies being toddlers, which just goes to show that you never know someone as well as you think you do.
Anyway Iโm sure you guys will join me in this knowledge. And also Iโve googled it and apparently the Teletubbies reboot features infant Teletubbies, so clearly they are getting more from somewhere and the time to question this is NOW
So I thought this memeย (credit to @swordlesbianopinions) was always pretty delightful and a lil while back due to many things, but in part prompting from a couple of friends who know what a big sword nerd I am, I finally opted to throw together a list of sword designs Iโd associate with the different pride flags (based primarily on the swordโs literal design, not history). Obviously, this is a lot of personal opinion, but hey, itโs all for fun. Enjoy!
โWhile You Were Being Heterosexual, I Studied The Bladeโ
Lesbian first, bc thatโs the OPโs orientation.
Backsword.
Beautiful, fast, delicate, single-edge, evolution of the Falchion meets fencing sword.
Also, it was the design used for the Sword of Dios in Utena & Pearl in SU. (Pretty sure Utena just copied this: http://elfgrove.tumblr.com/post/111286499668)
Rainbow flag. Theย Flamberge.
Large and flashy, slightly slower movement but powerful, memorable/iconic, double-edged, more of a display of the swordsmithโs skill than practical weapon, but damn theyโre fun.ย
Also, have fun with the flaming puns.
Bisexual flag.
Leaf-bladed Greek Xiphos or Celtic Hallstatt sword.
Double-edged, smaller and swift, but heavy for its size. Lends to a wide range of use and style and has a great deal of creative variety in the hilt.
Pansexual flag.
Trondheim Viking sword.
Double-edged, a relative to the Greek Xiphos, longer, lighter, a bit more generic a profile, but good and highly versatile blade that lends towards minimal simplistic hilt designs (made up for with etchings) and little crossguard if any.
Asexual flag.
Rapier.
Usually double-edged. Long, thin blades with a great deal of reach. Fast cut-and-thrust usage style. Iconic for the elaborate and decorative basket hilts that while pretty also deflect attacks to protect the wielder. Often paired with a parrying dagger.
More Color More Pride Flag.
Ngombe.
A traditional sword from the Congo region. Beautiful, strongly detailed, and large, used as a symbol of prestige and sometimes in ceremonial dance or as currency. Colonization spread now-debunked myths of it being used as a slave/animal execution tool.
Transgender flag.
Kris/Keris.
An Indonesian short sword. Asymmetrical. Double edged. Triangular guard that is a part of the blade. Beautifully detailed blades requiring complex smithing and are both a weapon & spiritual. They can be hard & intimidating or delicate pieces of art.
Agender flag.
Kora.
Single-edged. An unusual sword design wherein the inside curve is the sharp edge. The curve lends power and the flared end is both decorative and adds weight to the force of a swing. Designed for slashing rather than thrust-style fighting. Typically practically adorned but sometimes features artistic engraving on the blade and gilded details.
Non-binary flag.
Khanda.
Double-edged but most of one edge is encased in a strengthening plate. Features a widened flat tip that eliminates thrusting from usage. Effective for slashing & versatile for single or dual wielding. Pommel hook or strengthening plate can serve as a grip. Can be very practical in appearance or highly decorative and gilded.
Genderqueer flag.
Scissors Katar. A variety of push dagger. These wide, beautifully decorative blades open into 3 via a spring (usually) mechanism. Despite colonialist rumor they exist to cause excessive harm, recent theory is the mechanism is actually defensive, meant to act as a sword catcher and breaker rather than for viciously gutting opponents..
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