Author: peasantchick

[id: ‘Being a human’ starterpack. there’s a picture of four people in office clothing cheering. text reads “I really need some water”, “*Has a family tree*”, “Help, I’m dying”, “Aah I love me some vitamins”, “I’d like one coffee, please”, “*Dies at the age of 120 or less”, “I can lift all the shoppingbags from the car to my house”, “*Having leasure time*”, “Nice weather, huh Karin?”, “Loves smalltalk”, “I’m having a cold again! probably because of the rain”, “I work for money”, and “I’m freezing to death without my clothes”.]

Source: surreal–memes

Cars Fanfic Author Problems:

dubvictor:

musicalhell:

havahnagilah:

pixelthenerdcat:

  • “Wait a minute can they even do this they’re freaking cars”
  • You start to write something about ears or hands and then you remember like “…oh wait-”
  • getting anxious about putting human food in a scene so you just say oil to make it less conflicting
  • C A R  H U G S …
  • “THEY’VE GESTURED WITH THEIR TIRES LIKE TEN TIMES ALREADY DO SOMETHING ELSE YOU STUPID VEHICLES LIKE I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME”
  • unsure about how to make a scene more dynamic cause the characters can really only just sit there talking to each other
  • “IS. LIGHTNING. MCQUEEN. OOC. I SWEAR HE’S OOC IN THIS SCENE”
  • Or, alternatively: “IS ANYONE IN-CHARACTER IN THIS SCENE OH GOD I DON’T KNOW THIS SERIES AT ALL DO I I’M HORRIBLE”
  • “wait do they even have windshield wipers”
  • “how far can they stretch their axles out like arms omg this must read so awkward”
  • when you have to write Mater’s dialogue and you start  to say it out loud in the Larry the Cable Guy voice cause good God how do you write that voice properly (i.e. occasional horrid grammar and/or catchphrases)
  • *incoherent screaming about car anatomy*
  • “Okay would McQueen really cry here no he’d hold it in- but wait a second wouldn’t it be more powerful if he broke down here- alright listen up here-”
  • “OKAY IS IT THE ENGINE OR THE BATTERY THAT’S THE HEART I’M SO CONFUSED AND I’M THE ONE WRITING IT”

i’ve never been more baffled by any single post on this website and i’ve been here for four years

Cars fanfic is a thing which I both somehow knew must exist and at the same time was perfectly happy never acknowledging the existence of.

content-wise, this is the least relatable post i’ve seen in weeks

and yet somehow i feel like i ghostwrote it because op’s frustration at writing is universal

nanopearl:

bandtshirt:

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

Do y’all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

catsi:

catsi:

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

some of you are acting like i hate salt and vinegar chips and i need to clarify: i do not hate them. old dutch baked salt & vinegar chips is my favourite flavour of chips and one time i ate two bags of them in two days and my tongue started bleeding. i love the goddamn things. but why did humanity make them. to what end. my tongue literally bled from eating them. the flavour of them is just acid and salt. their gimmick is pain. and yet……. Chips Good…….