on the set of Beat Bobby Flay

theashemarie:

blobber looks at me and asks, “chef, what’s your signature dish?”

i take a deep breath and holler, “knucklesandwich!” and i just deck him in the mouth. he goes down hard. the studio audience screams in celebration. alex guarnaschelli stands and shakes my hand.

i look into the camera and kiss my knuckles. “i just beat bobby flay.”

juniperarts:

I like me 💕

I’m glad Garnet likes herself, I think that was one of my favorite lines I’ve ever heard her say.

Source: juniperarts

BDSM

crewniverse:

aah yes

Bismuths Deadly Shattering Machine

sanguinifex:

Commissions are open! They
are so open, in fact, that I drew cats in paint.net
with a mouse in honor of the occasion. It took longer than you’d think.
Don’t these kitties make you want to give them money? (All right, I
know they’re not really that good. I can’t even afford an art tablet
right now. This is why I’m a writer, and taking commissions.)

These are one-time fic commissions, not monthly pledges. Pricing is 1.5 cents/word, minimum 1000 words, all charges rounded to the next 100 words. SFW or NSFW; anything goes as long as the characters are of age. You can sponsor an installment of an existing series, such as Blighted Blight, Sir Ewain the Spiderfucker, or Ruining Holidays, or
order a completely personalized fic! Email me at cdd_cqc@yahoo.com or use Patreon messages to get started!

Patron reward tiers have also been revamped, so now is a better time than ever to make a monthly pledge!

$Any: Early access to weekly chapter updates and shortfics, plus access to other patron-only content!

$5 tier: monthly recipe (no change to this tier)

$10 tier: monthly pencil drawing, digital only (new!)

$20 tier: monthly shortfic, 1.5-2.5k words (up from 1-1.5k!)

$50 tier: monthly medium fic, ~5k words (no change to this tier)

$$$ It’s a steal! If you were planning on commissioning a long or multipart fic, monthly pledging offers you a significant discount. $$$ Remember, you have to make your pledge by the last day of the month to receive pledge rewards for the next month.

Again, contact me at cdd_cqc@yahoo.com or use Patreon messages to submit prompts for pledge rewards or if you have any questions!

Thank you to all patrons and commissioners! Your support goes towards paying my student loans (I don’t know if I’ll be able to make payments after July, without your support), the eventual replacement of my ancient laptop so that my writing career does not end when it does, and, someday, the acquisition of an art tablet so I can offer art commissions and draw slightly better cats. Thank you once again!

~Sanguinifex

Select portfolio of existing works
Contact info+current projects masterpost/redirect to Patreon
Email at cdd_cqc@yahoo.com

piglii:

Square Enix Dev: Hey tigers are, like, absurdly ripped right?

Other Dev: What?

Square Enix Dev: Like, they have the same muscle structure as insanely buff dudes right? Just a real jacked bro? A genuinely ripped beefman? Right?

Other Dev: I mean… they… just… just do whatever you want man.

Square Enix Dev:

happywlwsuggestions:

I hope Muslim women are safe this week

Source: nicname

moonbian:

scarred-and-purrfect:

just-shower-thoughts:

Being a guy, I instantly assume everyone on this site is a guy aswell, unless it’s clear from their comment that they’re not.

I’m pretty sure about 0.0001% of the people on tumblr are cis guys

I always assume everyone is gay unless stated otherwise so i get what is being said here but how realistic is it to believe cis het dudes would be attracted to a website that constantly talks about being gay?

this is a bot that takes posts from reddit threads

someone: capitalism is a rational economic system
a bank: hi i noticed you don’t have any money in your account, so I’m going to charge you an additional $30 for not having any money

transkrem:

Yea um so any explanations as to why so many self proclaimed aphobes and ace discoursers decided it was cool to mock the gender terms I coined??? Literally mocking my gender??? Come pick up your trash