Uncategorized – Page 89 – 🍓🧀 (archive)

we-are-avenger:

rkdvanguard:

This is Leslie, he’s a town gaurd. A paladin Neophocaena. He’s a tough cookie, keeps out the riff raff. Good to have around for safety porpoises.

@wearepaladin

Source: rkdvanguard

heedra:

heedra:

if you really want to fuck a vampire then i’d say you’re down for the count

damn thats a lot of notes and a lot of vampire fuckers, i guess its time to raise the stakes

mechalesbian:

i see your death of the author and raise you: death of the fandom, for when other fans and the content they produce are so unbearably bad that you divorce yourself entirely from the fanbase except for one or two Trusted Mutuals™️

disasterhumans:

zombiekiller2:

nonbinaryvexahlia:

so after sam “I stealthed so hard I’m playing with the McElroys right now” riegel’s obscene roll of 38, I decided to figure out what the absolute max stealth roll a person could roll in a non-homebrewed game of Dungeons and Dragons 5e is

let’s get the basics out of the way- i’m assuming this is a level 20 rogue, no multiclassing because i don’t want to give myself that much of a headache, who rolls a 20 on the die. They’ve maxed their Dex to 20 at this point, so this gives them a 25. any self-respecting rogue is not only proficient in stealth, but has expertise in it, so they can add double their proficiency bonus (+6 at this level) to the roll- bringing us to a total of 37.

we’ll assume this is a well-read thief; a Manual of Quickness of Action increases Dex scores by 2/modifiers by 1, so we’ll retroactively add 1 up there. 38. Ioun takes kindly to well-read adventurers; we’ll say she’s gifted them with an Ioun Stone of Mastery, which grants +1 to proficiency bonuses with the added bonus of having a rad fucking rock hovering around their head. Our thief adds 2, because of expertise. 40. Stone of good luck in their pocket adds +1 to ability checks. 41. they’ve also got the Stealthy feat, which lets them add their proficiency bonus to stealth checks again. Another 6 plus the Ioun Stone’s 1 brings us to 48.

Finally, this rogue wouldn’t have gotten far without a druid or ranger in the party, who might have been so kind as to cast Pass Without Trace. Add another 10. 58. Fifty-Eight.

I’m sure I’m missing stuff somewhere that would make this even higher, but if I asked for Stealth checks and someone at the table called off 58 I think I’d be legally allowed to shoot them on the spot.

If they’re a mark of Shadow elf from Wayfinders guide to eberron with the greater dragonmark feat they can add a d6 to that for a possible 64 and a level 20 bard gives a d12 inspiration for a 76

And if another party member had the Guidance cantrip hhe rogue can add another d4 for a max of 80

punrepentant:

when ur like “im gettin a gay vibe” and your straight friend is like “uhhh idk that seems….forced….” and u gotta pull out your fuckin phd from gay college and your private gay detective license and your federal bureau of investigaytion badge like sit fuckin down buddy i got credentials and also an opinion the truth is out there my guy

space-cowboys-inc:

“classic literature is hard to relate to”

[id: a screenshot from an online quiz. the question reads “Hamlet uses this speech primarily to express his desire to”, and the answer marked correct is “die.”]

Source: spacecovvboy

babybastardmorelike:

I only have two brain cells and ones for being horny and ones for being dysphoric

thegirlwiththeribbon:

bi culture is being attracted to all 4 main characters on the good place

jujubiest:

I’m just gonna say it: the primary factor in deciding whether a piece of media is good representation should be how it made the oppressed group feel, not how the oppressive group reacts to it.

rassilon-imprimatur:

The term “Time Tot” was introduced to Doctor Who in Douglas Adams’ Shada (therefore existing in every version of that story), where Romana discussing owning a nursery book called Our Planet Story. Just sort of a cute, silly term, typical of Adams’ signature style of making the mythos tease itself.

We’ve since seen that “Time Tots” most definitely recieve nursery rhymes and such at young ages, and the Tenth Doctor has even mentioned things about “playing in a nursery.”

Paul Cornell’s Goth Opera takes this further, showing that Time Tots really are treated as humans would treat toddlers…

“And that is the story of how Rassilon slayed the Great Vampire, and let us
all sleep safely in our beds at night.“ Romana closed the book with the
Great Seal of Rassilon on the cover and smiled at the children that were
sitting around her chair in a rapt circle. “Which is what all of you Time
Toddlers should be doing now.“

Nurses led the little Gallifreyans away, oblivious to their protests. Some of
them stopped to thank Romana or ask questions about Rassilon, and she
replied to them all.

…. as does Ian Potter’s (excellent) “Apocrypha Bidpedium, with several excerpts coming from a children’s book titled Tales of the Matrix– True Stories from TARDIS Logs, Retold for Time Tots by Loom Auntie Flavia.

And y’know, yeah, all cute and sweet and silly, “Time Tots! Time Toddlers!” It’s cute!

Until you remember Lungbarrow…

“They are all born from the Family Loom as full-grown adults. They are like children at first and have to learn like children. Andred calls that time brain-buffing. He says the things they live with in the House are deliberately big, so that they feel as if they have been small.”

…. and Faction Paradox’s Of the City of the Saved…

“A childe is not a child. Youth is relative, as is biology. It’s doubtful any true childe of the
Houses has been a child, except in appearance.”

… meaning that whenever you read/hear a sweet little Time Tot nursery rhyme, it’s either being read to a) a full grown adult with a baby brain, or b) some sort of Damian-from-The-Omen-esque nightmare genius child.

Time Lords are weird, I fucking love it.