helpfulhardware:

dietdyke:

lgbtdiscoursebabe:

If you are in a otherwise healthy relationship and consensually having sex with your partner and then your partner finds out you’re not actually sexually attracted to them that can be SO damaging to your partner. There is no excuse to not be honest about this with your partner. Like you are literally causing your partner harm, and why??? What for??? There’s no valid reason to do this??? Just be honest with the person your in a relationship with, this is not a new concept???

damn I’ve never heard this discourse before. imo I think people should say they’re ace before engaging in sexual activities b/c ace ppl often have different boundaries and communication is healthy, but i can’t offer you any real evidence on the subject, I’m sorry! thanks for bringing this to my attention

god i just love it when people act like they can speak for every conceivable relationship to ever exist ever. i love it when people act like the idea of being closeted/fearful to come out is a concept that doesn’t pertain to aspec people. i love it when people try to portray an orientation as specifically damaging. god it just makes my day ya know?

maybe people stay in the closet because of exactly shit like this, saying an ace partner is “literally causing them harm”, doing intense psychological damage to their partners, and just generally this idea that aces are going out of their way to trap people in unfulfilling relationships, and this idea that a partner coming out as ace is inherently this value statement that their partner must be unattractive and unlovable.

i’m all for healthy communication, but saying that people should feel offended if their partner comes out to them is really clearly the opposite of that