To those of us who have no idea how to flirt or how to learn to flirt,
To those of us who want to talk to girls but don’t know how to start,
To those of us who want to participate in pride events but can’t handle it due to sensory sensitivities or other accessibility issues,
To those of us who are still figuring out our identities,
You are so wonderful and beautiful. You will find the woman of your dreams one day who not only tolerates you, but accepts all of you and your autistic traits. The one who will find your stumbling advances cute. The one who will love your stims.
Celebrate this pride month.
Celebrate your beautifully autistic, sapphic self.
Celebrate with your community.
Celebrate the double rainbow of neurodivergent and LQBTQIA+
what autigender isn’t: a label used by non-autistic people, a label used by cis people, a label made up for attention, a label that causes harm to autistic people, a label that causes harm to trans people
what autigender is: a label used by a trans/nonbinary autistic person whose experience is that being autistic so deeply affects their understanding of their own gender that it’s hard or impossible to describe their gender as anything other than “autistic,” or to otherwise see their gender as separate from their autism
so i might have an angry rant going but.. i want you all to start being more intersectional with things.. because this isn’t good enough.
when you are marginalised in many ways, there will be overlaps of traits, and you will have a specific experience from being multiply marginalised.
very often this will be labelled as intersecting marginalised identities… that is literally what intersectionality means – you recognise that people who are marginalised in multiple ways have a specific unique experience from that.
i’m autistic, and i’m queer. this shapes me and makes my experience among autistic and queer people differently from the straight and allistic people in the respective communities.
additionally, a huge part of autism is not grasping social constructs, and struggling to conform to social and cultural things.. a lot of conceptions of straightness is artificial and cultural.
this means that a large part of my perception of straight society will be impacted by me being autistic. i struggle to relate to others’ experiences, and i find a lot to be performative… and you know, as a queer person – i find it beneficial to think of it this way too.
and i literaly cannot just say that these things are because i’m one of the things.. i’m not autistic sometimes, queer other times.. i’m always autistic and queer.
i have an intersecting marginalised experience.
shitting on people who literally label this intersecting experience, is being dismissive of and not recognising properly that people can be marginalised in multiple ways, and it is not intersectional activism.
so please stop.. and perhaps recognise that reality isn’t always your black-and-white social theories on what lgbt+ is and what disability is.. and perhaps don’t throw people under the bus who already have a hard time fitting into multiple communities.
i see this shit mostly coming from allistic lgbt+ people, and i just want you all to know this is not ok.. and you all are making lgbt+ spaces unsafe and unwelcoming for people who are multiply marginalised with being disabled/nd + lgbt+.
if you ever need to quickly get a list of autism symptoms and examples of neurodivergent behaviors, just go ask an acephobe what’s most “cringey” about the subculture of inclusionism.
“they get so obsessed and make really weird jokes about cake and dragons, making flags and acting really embarrassing.”
like. criticizing abnormal humor or a “childish” demeanor, criticizing individuals for being extremely passionate and involved in their interests to the point where neurotypicals can find it disconserting…
half the posts mocking inclusionist humor and behavior are mocking neurodivergent behaviors. it’s a rerun of seventh grade for me tbh, people mocking my autism constantly without even realizing that my autism is what they’re making fun of. they’re just mocking how weird i talk! how strange my humor is and how unrelatable the jokes are! mocking my lack of social tact and difficulty adhering to social etiquette!
it’s a form of subtle ableism, finding any young person who gleefully and passionately says something innocent yet embarrassing (like “WHAT IF WE HAD A CAKE PROM FOR ASEXUALS ON THE MOON!” or something of that caliber) and then humiliating them on a public platform for sadistic enjoyment.
it’s a demonization of neurodivergent behaviors, a well-oiled machine designed to publically humiliate the opposition by targeting our high percentage of autistic (or otherwise neurodivergent) individuals.
it’s ableism. it isn’t overt, the words “autism” aren’t said, but it’s functionally identical to targeted abelism.
The microlabels thing is also common to autism and other neurodivergencies in my experience. Like, wanting a separate word for every tiny discreet concept, wanting to qualify and quantify some experiences as distinct from others, is a thing with autism for me.
Another thing I’ve seen them making fun of is not ‘getting’ sarcasm, or mocking people for “not knowing it’s a joke.” (Usually after telling a shitty bigoted joke)
The crytyping jokes and in general mocking people for getting upset easily are also major ableism
exhibit B: “you’re so gullible lmao”
exhibit C: a group of exclusionists literally came into my a-spec discord server and created a fake profile who’s entire purpose was to mock my autistic traits and special interests.
I really hate it when parents of autistic kids use phrases like “I know they’re in there.” Bitch they’re right in front of you! You haven’t lost them! They’re not locked away like a final boss in a video game!! This is your child As Is! Love them for who they are not what you wish they would be! Fuck!
I didn’t expect this to get notes but it’s absolutely ok to reblog and I’m glad it has been
Yes, a lot of us more possessive about our things.
There are a few reasons of this. The most common of these reasons that most allistics will tell you is that we have reduced empathy and that prevents us from understanding the importance of sharing.
Of course, that is true for some of us, but it is hardly a universal thing. There are many other reasons why we may be possessive.
First, we often have a very strong sense of right and wrong. This comes from rules that we internalize very strongly, and tend to take as absolutes. These do not always reflect what the rest of society sees as right and wrong.
When kids grow up there is a normal phase where they come to understand that you do not touch others’ belongings without their permission. A lot of us internalize that as an absolute. It is a rule, you do not break it, full stop.
For others, it has to do with controlling our sensory environment. Everything has a place and should be in its place. Disrupting anything in that environment is disrupting out personal space that we rely on for sensory management.
Yet another concern many autistics have expressed is a heavy reliance on visual memory. Specifically, when you put something down you take a mental snapshot of where that item is. When someone touches that item, there is stronger emotion involved because they are touching your stuff, and you get a mental snapshot of that person touching your stuff. That replaces the snapshot of where the item was set down.
Even if the item is returned to the correct place, picture in your head is not longer of where the item was placed, but rather that the item was touched without permission. When you go to look for the item you cannot find it because the mental image does not include the location of the item.
There are so many reasons that I have heard from autistics about why they don’t like people touching their things. The common thread among all of them is that other people messing with our stuff disrupts our ability to function.
And like, for most people that is no big deal. Most people can adapt. With our tendency towards rigid thinking, however, this can be an extremely disrupting force in our lives.
The examples I listed above are nowhere near exhaustive. There are many, many, other reasons why we might be possessive. As a general rule of thumb, when it comes to autistics, I tend to assume there is a reason for it and take it on face value that it is important.
You prevent a lot of issues by taking that approach.
I am very possessive with my stuff and it’s kinda funny to me that some people would think it’s because of lack of empathy when a big part of it is my hyperempathy, so basically the complete opposite
Also, allistic people usually don’t respect our wishes unless we’re extremely emphatic about them. If we don’t make a fuss, they’ll just assume they own us and our stuff.
I am glad that you brought hyperempathy because there are two aspects of this that I think allistics tend not to take into account.
First, many of experience secondhand embarrassment. When a person touches our stuff without permission, whether or not they are embarrassed, we might experience embarrassment on their behalf. Especially in cases where we are aware of the disconnect, it can make us angry because they aren’t embarrassed.
The other thing that we often do when we are hyperempathetic is that we have empathy for the object being touched. This is something we may experience even if we are not hyperempathetic – we may exhibit no empathy for people, but we do for animals and objects.
I really hate it when parents of autistic kids use phrases like “I know they’re in there.” Bitch they’re right in front of you! You haven’t lost them! They’re not locked away like a final boss in a video game!! This is your child As Is! Love them for who they are not what you wish they would be! Fuck!
I didn’t expect this to get notes but it’s absolutely ok to reblog and I’m glad it has been
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