concept: letting bisexuals who aren’t men talk about being attracted to men and having crushes on men without having to add some self-deprecating “oh, how unfortunate!” caveat to it because tumblr has made them internalize the idea that liking men “taints” them somehow and makes them feel like they should be apologetic if they ever mention it.
Tag: biphobia
really dislike that such a big part of (cis) lesbian comradery and casual conversation (unless I’m around other cis lesbians who are very critical of it, which there are) is joking, sometimes really maliciously, about how nasty “dick” is and how slutty people (women really) who “take dick” are. Like not only does it isolate transgender women and breed a culture of transmisogyny that is … really unnecessary (you don’t have to tell nasty jokes like that to talk about your lesbianism) but it leads to separation and strife between bi women and lesbians bc even though many cis lesbians think it’s ~just joaks~ there is a value system among lesbians (and bi women) based on whether one has slept with a man or not or how many men she has been with and, like, I don’t know how that is at all a good or healthy way to measure a woman’s love for other women. patriarchy literally already has a value system built around how some kind of “phallic” contact taints a woman. men are even uncomfortable with women’s clits bc they can be seen as phallic. like, lesbians don’t need this and there’s actually nothing ~radical~ about including it in our culture.
it’s just het purity culture repackaged to divide us, it’s shit garbage
Is really, totally is. Like I grew up in an evangelical christian household, and went to those kind of churches up until my late teenage years. Purity culture was a HUGE thing in those churches at the time, with youth pastors constantly driving the idea that having sex “tainted” you in some way that made you unfit/undesirable for any future partner. Legit watching youth pastors go “what if someone licked this water bottle, would you want to drink from it then?” Still makes me sick to think how many kids they made feel like shit with that nonsense. And the first time I encountered gold star bullshit in the lesbian community, the first thing I thought was “wow…this looks really familiar”. It’s the same values translated over and it’s really fucking gross.
if you consider bi people to be lgbt because they are “sga” and not because they arent straight you are reducing bisexuality to partial gayness which.. is nothing new but its always been biphobic and it still is today so can we stop maybe
not to mention that’s also forcing a conversion therapy term onto people, coming from the same ppl that are like “don’t call ppl queer even if they’re ok with it!”
It’s honestly really creepy the way biphobic radfems fixate on the sex lives of bi women.
They can’t just say “bi women are attracted to men” or “bi women date men.” It’s always about sex, it’s always about how gross it is that we fuck dudes, how nobody wants to kiss a girl that had a dick in her mouth last week, how gross our pussies are for having been in contact with a cock. How we’re dick-worshippers and cocksuckers and bisluts. It always, always comes down to having sex with men, and it’s always just assumed that any given bi woman frequently has sex with men.
There’s a lot going on with this gross trend but I’m too tired to get into it, I just wanna say that it’s really, really skeevy to me how obsessed people are with bi women’s sex lives.
Hilariously, going by radfem logic (het sex is always coercive, women who have sex are always painted as broken and degraded as if they’re failed gatekeepers) the radfems are actively blaming the supposed victim. The only logical endpoint of men being unchangeable beasts is blaming bi women. Radfems love upholding the patriarchy they so deplore, it seems.
you’re banned from playing the “i’m being called a terf just because i’m a lesbian” card if u have anything like a mogai hell tag btw. i’m very aware of the problem that people are watering down terf when they mean transphobe but,, tbh if you have a post once a month about how u respect trans women but every second post is shitting on nonbinary terms and (long sigh) kweers making up stuff for attention you can’t act surprised if that’s the first impression people get from your blog.
especially if there’s a hint of biphobia lmao it makes up the entirety of radfem rhetoric when they aren’t shitting on trans women. and u need to be able to recognise this instead of this kneejerk bullshit that “my biphobia and/or nonbinary erasure looks nothing like theirs, what a scandalous accusation” as if radfems didn’t invent the bullshit i see way too many young lesbians falling into
ah yes, gay-specific history and culture, the gay-specific history and culture that no bi men or women participated in ever, because as we all know, bisexuals didn’t exist until 1990 when BiNet USA was founded…and also even if they did exist, no bisexuals ever in history participated in gay culture because they were all just Straight Married because they’re obviously all Secretly Straight Diet Gays…Stephen Donaldson? Brenda Howard? never heard of ‘em.
anyway here’s a list of Very Specific Historic Words bisexuals can Never Use because they obviously did not historically participate in or help form gay culture at all ever nope, and they certainly never got called any slurs or faced any danger or discrimination…
The entire concept of “fake college bi girls” or somebody being “bisexual until graduation” or biphobic and not useful or constructive in any context
When someone tries to shoot down claims of a character being gay with “they were atrracted to x person of the ”“”“opposite”“”“ gender!” And someone points out that they could be bi/pan/ply, that’s not some kind of concession or bargaining with homophobes, that’s pointing out that queerness and queer-coding isn’t limited to being gay. Here’s an idea: other queer identities aren’t some kind of less queer consolation prize
this week i’ve seen both the phrases “lesbophobia thinly disguised as bisexual positivity”, “biphobia thinly disguised as lesbian positivity” and something like “bi women want to appropriate lesbian culture” and i want you all to know that if this specific brand of bullshit starts up again i’m just fucking blacklisting anything to do with wlw until this newest generation of tumblr users grows the fuck up. i was there for the korrasami discourse, i’ve done my time
Miss me with the confirmed lesbians sleeping with attractive straight men trope. It’s stupid and it’s dangerous.
Make your character meaningfully, explicitly bisexual, or actually write a lesbian you fools.
#miss me with your gold star shit too #lesbians can have been with men in the past and id as lesbian later #but still #i feel very strongly about this #there are 2 communities in need you could serve #instead you’re making both of them look terrible #and gross #lesbians are what they say they are #and bisexual is NOT a dirty word #so fucking use it
🍓🧀 (archive) 