lauf-aiya-rson:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

Platonic intimacy is seeing your friend’s car in the grocery store parking lot and parking so close to him that he can’t open his door and has the crawl through the passenger’s side.

Platonic intimacy is hot gluing four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica to the ceiling of his hallway closet and seeing how long it takes him to notice that there’s four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica hot glued to the ceiling of his hallway closet.

Platonic intimacy is watching the graceful curve of his body as he stretches in bed, fixating on the strip of skin where his shirt’s pulled up juuuust enough that you can sneeze on his exposed stomach and then run away while he’s distracted and bewildered by how super gross and unnecessary that was.

Platonic intimacy is sending him an e-mail that says, β€œThe Harbinger of Boy Sauce is Upon You,” instead of just, like, texting him and letting him know you’re on your way to help him do his shots.

Platonic intimacy is calling him in the middle of the night and waking him up because you heard a weird noise outside that you’re about to investigate, and you need moral support and also someone to call an ambulance if you end up having to knife fight a racoon.

No, it’s platonic. If it’s romantic, you gotta’ have a rose between your teeth and one titty out.

[id: response by @ rdprice29 reading β€œI’m thinking β€œplatonic intimacy” does not mean what you think it means, lol. I’m thinking you mean more like β€œintimacy””]

mylordshesacactus:

tiny-septic-box-sam:

naeshitsherlock:

Every now and again I get updates from my friend studying vet med

Cats have no code of ethics confirmed

[id: handout reading:

Handling: General Considerations

The cat is faster and has sharper teeth and nails than you do. It has noΒ β€˜code of ethics’ or consideration for its own future. In a fair fight it will win.

1) DON’T FIGHT A CAT
2) USE YOUR BRAIN
3) USE DRUGS
]

smalltalktorture:

tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

[id: a sponsored post by β€œTrendchaser”. It’s a picture of cloves of garlic, with the textΒ β€œApply garlic to a freshly opened cut or burn to immediately intensify the pain”. text underneath readsΒ β€œCould This Hack Actually Help Someone?!”, and there’s a button labelled Learn More.]