[id: joey from friends pointing at himself on tv. the pointing joey is labelled βmy autistic self-projecting assβ and the one on tv is labelled βkinda weird/quirky characterβ. end id]
Platonic intimacy is seeing your friendβs car in the grocery store parking lot and parking so close to him that he canβt open his door and has the crawl through the passengerβs side.
Platonic intimacy is hot gluing four copies of Resident Evil β Code: Veronica to the ceiling of his hallway closet and seeing how long it takes him to notice that thereβs four copies of Resident Evil β Code: Veronica hot glued to the ceiling of his hallway closet.
Platonic intimacy is watching the graceful curve of his body as he stretches in bed, fixating on the strip of skin where his shirtβs pulled up juuuust enough that you can sneeze on his exposed stomach and then run away while heβs distracted and bewildered by how super gross and unnecessary that was.
Platonic intimacy is sending him an e-mail that says, βThe Harbinger of Boy Sauce is Upon You,β instead of just, like, texting him and letting him know youβre on your way to help him do his shots.
Platonic intimacy is calling him in the middle of the night and waking him up because you heard a weird noise outside that youβre about to investigate, and you need moral support and also someone to call an ambulance if you end up having to knife fight a racoon.
No, itβs platonic. If itβs romantic, you gottaβ have a rose between your teeth and one titty out.
[id: response by @ rdprice29 reading βIβm thinking βplatonic intimacyβ does not mean what you think it means, lol. Iβm thinking you mean more like βintimacyββ]
Every now and again I get updates from my friend studying vet med
Cats have no code of ethics confirmed
[id: handout reading:
Handling: General Considerations
The cat is faster and has sharper teeth and nails than you do. It has noΒ βcode of ethicsβ or consideration for its own future. In a fair fight it will win.
1) DONβT FIGHT A CAT 2) USE YOUR BRAIN 3) USE DRUGS]
tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads
[id: a sponsored post by βTrendchaserβ. Itβs a picture of cloves of garlic, with the textΒ βApply garlic to a freshly opened cut or burn to immediately intensify the painβ. text underneath readsΒ βCould This Hack Actually Help Someone?!β, and thereβs a button labelled Learn More.]
[id: tweet by kat kuhl @kat_kuhl_ reading βsometimes a friendship is just two people taking turns infodumping about terrible franchises the other has no interest in until one of you diesβ. from 7/8/18, 8:19 pm]