Tag: food

gothmollyweasley:

glumshoe:

I love living in the future with advanced technology. It’s so great how I can just press a button on a machine and it will splutter hot, fresh coffee outwards at a horizontal angle onto my uniform, completely missing my cup. It saves me the convenience of spilling it on myself through human error.

Douglas Adams ghostwrote this

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

maxiesatanofficial:

maxiesatanofficial:

for real, though, why do recipes consistently tell you to use less herbs and spices in than you should. fuck your “two cloves of garlic,” fuck your “half teaspoon of cinnamon,” and you can absolutely go to hell with your “dash of black pepper”

I’m pretty sure that the only time I’ve ever actually managed to overseason food was when working with balsamic vinegar, which is the most overpowering motherfucker of a sauce known to man

i appreciate the energy and anger in this post, which is righteous and just

pochowek:

tsunderetherion:

pochowek:

helljumpingteufelhund:

pochowek:

eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer

Fork

Oh yeah I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin

Uhm you seem to forget that « chips » can also mean fries ? And thats probably what they were talking about haha

i did not forget anything. i purposefully ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out

king:

littlemissmoriarty:

king:

thatpersonwhosweird:

king:

buggerygrips:

king:

littlemissmoriarty:

king:

@ all u british bastards imma bout to eat biscuits n tea but am i supposed to put the butter on the biscuit and dip it in the tea or do i dip the biscuit in the tea first and then butter it or am i supposed to take a bite out of the butter and the biscuit and sip the tea or am i supposed to 

Who the fuck puts butter on a biscuit mate. I think you’ve got a translation error

so mr england sir i should butter up the tea or

the butter goes on the Weetabix.

im shaking what are you saying to me

It could also go on crumpets

now yall just making up words

The butter could also go on the teacakes and scones as well if you want, or pork scratchings ya know, mix it around

please dont hurt me ill do anything

ginger-ale-official:

mysticmoonhigh:

ginger-ale-official:

andsoimuse:

take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong.

Me getting up from the chair at the dentist after a quadruple root canal

Your response has nothing to do with ginger ale

and your response doesn’t have anything to do with being the biggest clown on the block but here we are again