just a warning this is about me being sick and sad

i mean like hypothetically if someone considers me a friend and they’re able bodied and they accidentally go nearly like a whole year not trying to contact me, like, knowing full well i have the anxiety that all all of my friends secretly hate me and that also i have a disease that makes literally everything a chore, like, i think someone in that situation can just give up on me being the one to contact them first. like, it’s probably not great pulling out the Disability card on this but like, if i know that you go far out of your way to maintain friendships with other people that i know, and knowing that that’s especially difficult for me, like, then how am i meant to think we’re even friends at all, like, eventually it’s not that silly of me to piece together that people just don’t want to have friends as sick as i am