carnival-phantasm:

king-of-heroes-official:

orcs aren’t really mosters tbh. they’re demihumans. it’s barely above wanting to fuck catgirls.

This is a hot take that could possibly lead to chaos in the already fragile monster fucking community

If I look at a mouth and instinctually know how to kiss it with my human mouth, it is not a monster, it is a variation on a person, probably with larger than average teeth. It isn’t a monster until I have to strategize

Gordon Ramsay ate my ass then said it was underseasoned and a fucking disgrace.

Please make the “What if they made Simpsons porn illegal?” shirt available again

bransonreese:

I can’t I got a C&D from 20th Century Fox which, in retrospect, of course I did.

pro-gay:

adumbrant:

pro-gay:

Hm. I must say, I was very anti-sport before but after being on tumblr.com for a while I definitely identify with jocks. Unlike nerds, they’ve never made me read sherlock mpreg miscarriage on the Harry Potter train AU Masterposts. They only wanna kick their balls and take booty pics. I’m sorry i took u for granted, jocks

The jocks were only trying to protect us all this time

They pushed nerds into lockers when no one else did

How would you die in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?

kramergate:

beetledrink:

this is a great question because it narrowed my soul! i would choke on regular chewing gum on the steps outside before even entering the factory. willy would make no attempt to perform the heimlich maneuver and would leave my corpse on the concrete

this ask tapped into an extremely primal part of everyone’s body soul & mind

[id: three replies. usbdongle: “i would choke on gene wilder’s cock”

terribadger: “Would you get a song or would the Oompa Loompas just come by with a couple push brooms later and cram your body into a storm drain?”

theatticgoblin: “I don’t know how I’d die but I’m taking as many fucking oompa-loompas with me as I can”]

argumate:

unknought:

argumate:

judiciousimprecation:

argumate:

judiciousimprecation:

argumate:

unknought:

“Catgirl” may be used metonymically to refer to a larger clade which contains true catgirls as its largest subtype but also includes cuttlefishgirls (aka cuttlegirls) and the elusive crowgirl.

cowgirls

incidentally, also an ambiguous category that includes at least two very distinct subtypes

when he says he wants to try doing it cowgirl style, get clarification before jumping to conclusions

“should I get the lasso or the bucket”

saddle up or udders down, you might say

what have you done to my post

milked it for all that it’s worth!

galactits:

Alton Brown needs to do a Good Eats episode on the female orgasm

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “btw!!!!! wash yr hands b4 u touch urself!!!, bc I forgot I didn’t write Michael doing that, but u the reader should”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Hygiene advice from the author of My Immortal

see we should have kept Big Dick Energy sex/gender neutral. like Big Strap-On energy? Big Clit Energy? that’s all the same thing. it’s the same energy. a dick is not required for The Energy

carbrundum:

I literally can’t right now

[two tweets from Jay @highonthighs. first tweet reads: “spider gf: *catches you in her web*

spider gf: 88w88 what’s this??”

the second tweet reads: “stop sending me spider hentai”]

Source: haiderabd51