Me: *eating oatmeal* well i better go do some work in the shire
Gf: what about second breakfast?
Me: whoops how could I forget! *starts eating pussy*every day this website tests my patience in new ways
Tag: nsfw text
no disrespect to mr briggs but i can’t imagine being his wife. imagine asking him to talk dirty to you and he accidentally goes into dalek voice fuckgin “exterminate that (redacted)” i would fucking grab my kids, car, clothes, and everything else and hasta la vista outta there. that would just be too much to handle
I’m listening
[image is of a hand holding three pink crystal eggs of different sizes, and a pink crystal rod. text reads “The Best Jade Eggs For Summoning A Sex Demon”, article by Toria Sheffield.]
orc girls have shorter tusks so they can eat pussy
tumblr talks a big game about monster fucking but you guys see one velociraptor blowjob and suddenly you’re all clutching your pearls and fainting
Even future US Presidents need to be PROUD of their Manhood.
DROP that DAMN TOWEL Kennedy!
Be PROUD to be a Man.
Be PROUD of your Man Muscle, Cock and Balls!
Be PROUD of your nude Manliness!
Train and fight!
Love your nude Manliness!
WarriorMale
I deadass thought warriormale had deleted because of all you weirdos sending him asks about Leninism or whatever, and then he reemerges on my dash with this post that is so powerful and raw it nearly obliterated me on sight.
“Drop the damn towel Kennedy” may be the best sentence I ever read in my entire life and not even Dostoyevsky could’ve come up with a better one.
*whispers during sex* thanks for temporarily filling my existential emptiness with ur dick
if you say this im turning the lights on and we’re havin a talk
“why is gallifreyian society so messy” they can’t nut, jonathan.
“ok but WHY?” imagine you can’t ever bust one out. no cupcakke song is relatable and everyone on your planet is dumb as shit. you would be pretty pissed, eh? EH? thought so
being a soft sleepy horny crybaby 24/7 is hard work but someones gotta do it
a misreading of a post:
life is about eating women and loving fruit and then you die
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