wishuwerebear:

capriceandwhimsy:

neufel:

wilwheaton:

(via French vote results analyzes by T_D : facepalm)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

This week-end, american far-right internet trolls :

1. Leaked boring emails 36h before the elections, thinking that it would make headlines, just like Hillary’s emails.
Result : They didn’t know that french tv doesn’t have the right to talk about politics the day before the election. The printed press said they didn’t want to jeopardize the election for mails they wouldn’t have time to read.

2. They started campaigning on Twitter, with Google Traduction levels of french, retweeting and commenting on the worst emails from the leak.
Result : Unable to understand french, and french memes, they quickly started to retweet obvious fakes that were created by funny people on Twitter. My favourite one : a fake mail about a guy watching Doctor Who and enjoying Moffat’s run, then without any transition he admits masturbating to wav files of sink noises. Then he starts talking gibberish (+ bonus Yaoi). The MAGA idiots only read the last sentence “fuck the people”. They didn’t even check if the mail was in the leak.
Just imagine if french activists started retweeting @ dril.

3. Jack Posobiec, that one dude that kept campaigning for “nationalism” (so for Le Pen) helped make some noise about the leaks. Then he “respectfully” asked an emergency meeting with the french parliament. The day of the election.
Result : A couple hundreds french users started to make fun of his idea. That’s understandable because :
– No one knows him, here.
– Why would we want to hear an american for our own elections ?
– By law, we do not have the right to add anything to the election that may change the results so close to election day. And even worse DURING election day. So if he was french, charges could be pressed against him. Sure, come over, dude.
– It’s Sunday.
– The Parliament is in recess during the elections
But yeah good point, dude.

4. It’s about globalism vs nationalism ! France needs to defend its country against globalism ! Did you know that Macron has been financed by the US “deep state” ?
Result : It’s funny how US far-right has been against “globalism” for a few weeks, and now they’re already trying to force the rest of the world to do the same. What’s funnier is how oblivious they are that in Europe, the USA is seen as the big (or sole) source of “globalism”, we’re under pressure from the USA for… everything. And now some americans are telling us what to vote… to prevent foreigners meddling with our democracy.
Sure Jan.
And if Macron has good relations with Washington it’s not that big of a deal in France. You know, we’re allies. What’s the worst that could happen ? The USA could start a war where our own soliders die ? Wow. That happens every two years already.

Bonus : Top US activists arguments anti-Macron they tried to tell french people (but were lost in translation)

Macron married his teacher ! She’s older, and it’s creepy. He’s a wuss, a cuck !!
> France doesn’t give a shit about the sex life of politicians. I’m 29 ans I have never lived under a Presidency without sexual affairs/divorces/orgies (you read that right)/ and even… hidden love children.
NO. FUCKS. GIVEN.
The only dude that lost any chance in elections is because he raped someone. Being happily married with an older woman = not the same.

Macron is gay ! We have proof that he’s only married to hide the GAAAAY.
> Okay whatevs. Gay marriage is legal. Sure there’s homophobic violence in France. But you do not lose any credibility in politics if you’re gay. Fuck, the interim leader of the Front National (Le Pen’s party) is gay. And one of the vice presidents of that very far-right party is gay too.
NO. FUCKS. GIVEN.
And wait, weren’t we supposed to be against him because he married an older woman ?

Macron is a socialist !
> Guys. Socialist is an insult only in your backwards country. The president is from the socialist party. Nice try. 
“Clinton is a democrat” [americans scream in terror]

—-

You know what the worst part is ? A majority of french people doesn’t even like Macron and his views.
And yet not one of their attacks sticked. Well done, HACKERS ON STEROIDS.

If this is true, it’s hilarious.

It is. All of it. But to be fair the majority of French people never heard of it, because of our press policy regarding the elections.