You can absolutely be an asexual quoiromantic lesbian !! And Mod Wesley operates under the idea that there is absolutely no such thing as “too many labels” and that you can use as many (or as few) labels as are useful to you !!
Also like, if it makes you feel better, Mod Wesley literally identifies as a bialterous arovague aromantic aceflux cupiosexual (or a bi aro ace) and uses agender, autigender, genderqueer, nonbinary, and trans to describe aer gender so like, you’re fine, I promise !!
you know you can have a tag for #reclaimed words or #reclaimed slurs as like a general catch-all tag
you don’t need to pick out #Q slur specifically, and if you do that but leave words like dyke untagged, you’re an asshole. what you’re doing is performing how much you dislike the word and people who use it.
especially because if the Word Itself is in the post, it will be blacklisted. you only need to tag it in case it’s misspelled in the post, so blacklisting programs still pick it up. That’s it. All your #Q slur tag is doing is cataloguing all the times you performed outrage at the word.
“mogai tumblr made it hard to figure out my gender/sexuality when first coming out”
consider: You don’t have to have a vendetta against queers with the “weird” genders and sexualities, especially teenagers, because you used to consider yourself one of them
also consider: the answer to “my identity was hard to figure out” is not to make it harder for other people. erasing other people’s identities will not make your own more visible. MOGAI people actually quite often find it helpful to have words for their identities, like yourself, and everyone else in the world
also consider: your anger is misdirected. heteronormativity hurt you several billion times more than the split attraction model ever could. No one who IDs as frostgender has the social capital to gaslight and coerce children from birth into a gender. straight and cis people are 100% to blame for the shame we’re made to feel for our identities and placing blame on young queers achieves nothing but furthering that shame. there is no good political goal that can be achieved by bullying mogais you nasty fucks
I’m just frustrated because of how much these people set me back. Even now, I constantly doubt myself because “What if the only reason I feel this way is because I’m still confused?” Things would have been so much easier if I would have been properly taught the relations between gender and sex from the beginning instead of being fed the bullshit that this community fed me. Heteronormativity has not hurt me. This community has. I’m not trying to make it harder for anyone. In fact, I’m just trying to spread the truth so they don’t have to be so confused and frustrated for longer than they have to.
“Heteronormativity has not hurt me. This community has” thanks, anti-sjw and transmedicalist guy, count me enlightened. wait are you saying cishet culture has taught you better about sex and gender than ‘this community’ has?
I recall being in a conversation with a gatekeeper once (the sort of “monosexual is a homophobic term!” “MOGWAI means kinky people count as queer!” “asexuals don’t belong in the queer community!” type of asshole) and they said of a fictional character: “He’s definitely gay. Totally gay. Maybe bisexual. Queer at the very least.”
That’s when it clicked for me: Gatekeepers honestly think that any sexuality beyond straight and gay is just Gay Lite. Bisexual is half-gay, asexuality is, like, 0.05 percent gay, and just identifying as “queer” is a quarter-gay, maybe.
This is why they lose their shit so badly whenever someone thinks a character is bisexual and not gay, why they accuse others of erasing their representation. A bisexual is just half a lesbian, so how dare you try and water down our portrayal in the media! Asexuals are such Lite Gays that they might as well be straight, so don’t you dare take away my representation with your ace headcanons!
Never mind if the source material itself is ambiguous. If it’s not gay or lesbian, it’s not real representation. If you don’t want real representation, you’re siding with the straights.
It’s such a pathetic and limited way of looking at the world. I’d feel sorry for them if they weren’t such jerks.
Some do this in relation to trans headcanons as well. They’ll go into one hell of a performative outrage against TERFs and other assorted bigoted shits… and then have a fucking meltdown when a young trans man on this site says ‘I headcanon this character as a demisexual trans boy’. This person got dogpiled by dozens of the usual suspects involved in the most virulent anti a-spec discourse, all of them shouting ‘she’s a lesbian!’, ‘lesbian-only!!!!’ The fact that all of this was over headcanons about the goddamn moon in the sky just made me cross myself and go ‘these people are the future of the community? I fucking weep for it, then.’ Honestly, someone can post all they want about how ‘TERFs are Bad’. it becomes mere performative drivel when one engages in pretty damned TERFy bullshit in turn.
Also, he’re as example of this particular dogpiling in action re: a bisexual headcanon. Notice, again, the usual suspects involved and the rejection of any headcanon other than gay. But sure, sure, m-spec people and a-spec people and trans and nonbinary and agender people are ~*~totally valid~*~ and other meaningless buzz-words tossed round like candy for placation. Valid until any of the aforementioned groups want to work at seeing themselves represented by identifying with a character and having personal headcanons for a character whose sexuality and gender are never black-on-white stated in a give canon.
het nobody is queer they are literally opposing concepts
I don’t like this idea but I’m having a hard time articulating why r/n I’ll get back to it later.
Yeah I think I got this now.
This positions the western colonially-derived concept of gayness as the only true queerness and only conditionally permits other forms of queerness which do not abide by that western colonial framework.
This segments and disenfranchises hetero trans women whom I should not have to explain to you are being murdered by the dozen ON THIS DAY OF ALL DAYS. Does that not sound like marginalization to you? The more I think about this the angrier I get.
I mean it’s a fuckin trope to bring it up but there were plenty of man loving trans women fighting at stonewall. Is that not queer enough for you? I’m really growing ever more disgusted with this exclusionary process.
The whole point of the narrative of queerness is to be liberating. Revolutionary and destructive to the order of patriarchy, heteronormativity, cisnormativity, to break open the neat airtight containers and allow movement and the freedom to self-position, to self-define, and that cannot be accomplished with this kind of resistance to change.
Does someone who is transgender and attracted to another gender not experience the kind of abuses that we do as trans lesbians? Do they not experience violence, do they not experience being bludgoned with slurs, do they not experience being taught to loathe their own body for not meeting an impossible standard? Do they not experience the violation of bodily integrity which comes with an unwanted puberty?
Do intersex people not experience a kind of violation of bodily integrity as well? Do they not experience stigmatization and the pressure to conceal what and who they are, the reality of their body and the effect that has on their identity?
Do asexual people not go for years believing that they are fundamentally broken, as we go through years believing the same about ourselves?
Why do you want to hand the keys to the fucking kingdom to the very cisgay motherfuckers who would kick YOUR ASS out of the movement in a hot second, autogynephile? Like, love yourself, goddess almighty.
Jesus fucking Christ the longer it goes on the worse it gets
🍓🧀 (archive) 