I have a problem with sex-negative feminists.

dr-archeville:

nerdymouse:

I have a problem with them because they find sex degrading. I have a problem with them because they’re not all that different from the people who raised me in terms of sex within the Catholic church. Only rather than telling me that my “virginity” is a “gift” they will say things like:

“Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women’s bodies.” — Andrea Dworkin

“The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

“All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.” — Catherine MacKinnon

I have a problem with those quotes for multiple reasons:

Sex can be empowering and fulfilling.

Positive sex experiences and taking control of your sexuality can help survivors of sexual violence to heal.

Those quotes insinuate that men’s sexuality is inherently damaging and that women are the only victims of rape.

They also tend to erase rape victims who aren’t straight cis women who were abused by men.

Sex negative feminists aren’t feminists in my opinion, they’re just hurt and injured people regurgitating some vile and problematic things.

I grew up thinking that porn and sex is inherently degrading because my church taught that my virginity is a flower and the more often I have sex, the less wanted I will be. I used to feel ashamed of having sex, and thus couldn’t enjoy it. It wasn’t until I explored my sexuality and took more control and figured out what I wanted that I felt empowered by it. Yes, I can even feel empowered while I’m being flogged or while I’m kneeling by her feet or asking to cum. It makes me feel good. What may be degrading to one person is empowering to someone else, and that’s fine. If you find something personally degrading then that’s ok, just don’t do it, and don’t shame others for enjoying it. Telling others that they only like oral sex because society says they should or that it’s degrading when that person you’re saying it to ENJOYS giving oral then you’re in the wrong.

Being sex positive means that you don’t shame others for what they enjoy sexually.

Sexologist Carol Queen states:

Sex-positive, a term that’s coming into cultural awareness, isn’t a dippy love-child celebration of orgone – it’s a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. “Sex-positive” respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility.

It’s the cultural philosophy that understands sexuality as a potentially positive force in one’s life, and it can, of course, be contrasted with sex-negativity, which sees sex as problematic, disruptive, dangerous. Sex-positivity allows for and in fact celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationships structures, and individual choices based on consent.

“When
authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important
lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities” – Matt
Groening, Life in Hell

The whole FOSTA-SESATA “sex censorship” thing makes this very relevant again…

Re. Your post about people getting involved in debates that they don’t have any business being in: I absolutely get that. So I figured if people are blindly trying to get involved, is there a way they can get involved that’s actually helpful? Or is it better to wait for people who are sex workers to explicitly ask them for help before they stick their nose in? (Also I’m sorry that anons are scaring you.)

patrexes:

if you’re a civilian coming across some swerf rhetoric or just gross discourse in general and you really desperately feel like doing something, what you can do first is see if a sex worker has already refuted it — reblog their response instead of writing your own.

if nobody’s responded to it directly, consider responding with the bulk of your response being quotes from swers and links to swers addressing the issue in question.

i’ve definitely asked people to field responses for me before, ngl, and if someone asks you to cover a topic theyve like, discussed with you before, that’s totally chill. and if in real life somebody says some bullshit obviously there’s gonna rarely be a safe situation where you can redirect them to the nearest sex worker (and you shouldnt do that anyway lgr). just like, remember that you’re not speaking from experience, you don’t necessarily understand our experiences no matter how close you are with a sex worker, and definitely don’t speak over or argue with us about our lived experiences.

yeah, i know sometimes sex workers can say some fucked up shit about our jobs. i’ve talked about it before. but it’s solidly an intracommunity thing, so just let us handle it amongst ourselves.

on a wider scale, you can support sex workers by supporting the nswp, the red umbrella fund, swop, and others, get involved in protests, sit ins, and the international day to end violence against sex workers (dec 17). and on a much smaller and more personal scale, if you can and want to support us individually — do so! if you’re interested in porn, buy it from sex workers directly instead of going on pornhub! pay for nudes! pay your cam girls (and others)! donate a couple bucks to a sex worker’s ko-fi or paypal if you like their content (sexual or otherwise)!

and if you don’t engage with someone in those contexts or just don’t have money to spare, plain old regular support is still always great. just don’t be…weird about it. keep your “not that there’s anything wrong with that"s and your “i’d do sex work but i don’t like older men"s to yourself, and if someone feels comfortable enough with you to divulge trauma or discomfort with an element of the job, don’t say “i told you so”, or “well you know it’s dangerous”, or “you have to go to the police”. ask what you can do to help, if anything, and assume that they’re able to make their own decisions.

punkwitchanarchist:

repotting:

Pornhub’s entire business model revolves around stealing content made by
sex workers without their consent and profiting off it with no
compensation to the workers who generate the content they steal.

Sex
workers are an incredibly vulnerable and stigmatised class of workers, mostly women,
mostly younger, mostly not rich, with little recourse, socially or legally, against a massive
corporation like Pornhub.

Pornhub relies on this, on how little you care about sex workers, to maintain a business
based on stealing their livelihoods.

Stop applauding a
corporation that literally exists to steal from marginalised workers just
because they have a competent PR department.

Fucking thank you

lark-in-ink:

Like when I say sex work is “just a job” I don’t mean that it can’t be traumatic but do you know how many women I know who’ve literally gotten PTSD from workplace treatment in the software development industry.