I know who we all REALLY want to see in Disney’s live action reboots.
Did I ever tell you guys how I actually semi-officially changed the canon of this movie
Oh?
Yeah I got one of the lead writers to make something canon with help from my roommate and his dad.
give us the deets
Ok so this all started with a fan theory I read on Reddit. Basically the theory was that since the only animals in the movie that are shown to be capable of speech used to be human, then any animal that can talk was at one point a human.
On Kuzco’s first night alone in the jungle, he sees a fly in a spiderweb. The fly screams “HELP ME” then gets eaten.
The theory was that that fly used to be human.
So my roommate really liked that theory and said “hey my dad is actually friends with the guy who wrote Emperor’s New Groove, he can ask him to confirm that theory for us.” (I’m not naming names here I don’t wanna get sued)
So a couple days later we get screenshots of my roommate’s dad’s email asking about the theory and the lead writer’s response:
“The fly is… Kuzco’s late father.”
My roommate’s dad: “is that canon?”
Writer: “It is now.”
So Kuzco’s dad was turned into an animal by Yzma, we assume, as part of her ploy to take the throne. It makes SENSE.
And that’s how I helped change the canon of a major Disney movie.
I genuinely love this film but rewatching it will forever be obscured by the knowledge that nearly every line from this film has appeared in a Tumblr’s Funniest picture compilation
remember when tumblr genuinely thought kuzco from Emperor’s New Groove was…. queercoded
bc he’s not overly masculine, has no love interest and is in drag for one whole scene to disguise him Being a Fucking Llama
remember Kuzco is the best Disney princess. remember Jack Sparrow is the best Disney princess too
there’s a particularly shit no homo joke when he has to use mouthwash after receiving cpr from Patcha, the joke being kissing a dude is worse than kissing a llama. What kind of lens did you watxh this through to get a queer narrative