soulllesssam:

tilthat:

TIL, a 2012 study found that men who treated women as equals, were viewed as misogynists by women.

via reddit.com

tilthat posted this misinformation before so I’m just gonna repost what I wrote back then:

I think with such a statement it’s very important to talk about what the study actually researched – because I’ve read the study and I don’t think it can be broken down to “women see non-sexist men as sexist”. That framing will lead to major misunderstandings.

Specifically the study talks about benevolent sexism (BS) which is things like “being chivalrous” and thinking that women need special protection, and hostile sexism (HS) which is what most people would see as “real sexism”, you know, just blatantly mistreating women because of their gender.

The study puts it like this:

“Unlike hostile sexism, benevolent sexism is often not seen as problematic due to its subjectively positive content. Putting women on a pedestal may be deemed “nice,” “romantic,” or even “respectful” to women. However, HS and BS are complementary in maintaining gender inequality: while BS serves as a “reward” for women who embrace traditional gender roles, HS serves as a “punishment” for women who threaten the status quo.”

Women in our society are likely to be confronted with both types of sexism, but most people don’t understand the correlation. One result of that is the following:

“The misconception of BS in men may also suggest why it is difficult for some women to leave abusive relationships. On the surface, ambivalent sexist abusers may seem like doting boyfriends or husbands when they place their partners on a pedestal during the “honeymoon” phase (Cycle of Violence; Walker, 1979); however, they may also lash out violently when their partners fail to conform to their unrealistic standards. Thus, women may think that their partners could change and remain in abusive relationships, without recognizing that the male abuser’s positive treatment during the “honeymoon phase” goes hand-in-hand with his abusive behaviour whenever his partner deviates from cultural ideals of femininity.”

Women are conditioned to expect BS as a form of showing them respect, but it is quite the opposite. So when a man who isn’t a sexist understands the correlation between BS and HS and decides to do neither, women will see him as less respecting. That is what the study talks about, not “women see nice men as misogynists”.

Conclusion: Patriarchal society trains women to expect and accept sexism and that makes it harder for men to break out of sexist conventions. And that is exactly why we need feminism and feminist education.