Tag: text

reallyreallyreallytrying:

medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

pudding-gremlin:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

asteamingdumpsterfire:

beowulf22121:

whyisthisreality:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

Me: *is mild-to-moderately inconvenienced*

Me: leaving the womb was a mistake

Me: *is greatly inconvienienced*

Me: this is totally fine, perfectly normal, if its a problem this is my fault haha

Major issue: If I ignore it, it will go away.

Minor inconvenience: *Putting up fists in fighting stance* CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Major issue: Maybe I can sleep it off.

Minor inconvenience: COME AT ME, BITCH! I WILL SMITE YOU!!

we take on the battles we think we can win

why do you always say the wisest shit on random fucking shitposts??

marketing strategy 

snarkiwi:

smallmetal:

kim possible came out in 2002??

Good for her

tredlocity:

CEO is a slur we prefer to be called ‘friend’. Anyway no bonuses this year

shittycryptids:

reverse ouroboros; a snake perpetually pooping its own body

bisexualpiratequeen:

Good teachers can impact us for our whole lives. I still have a place in my heart for the teachers who saw how I was suffering and struggling and did what they could to help me.

The BAD teachers give us funny stories to share at parties so we can get laid. Do some real good for your students. Be hilariously bad at your job.