can we kill any ‘discourse’ that even vaguely resembles “X identity isn’t real and anyone who uses it is mistaken” forever thanks
Tag: text
so I just realized something.
I’ve seen some TERFs in the past saying shit like “if you don’t want us reblogging your posts, don’t post things we might like” and similar sentiments that disregard the boundaries of people who don’t want their posts reblogged by TERFs. That would be super messed up in and of itself, but wanna know what makes it even more messed up? The fact that TERFs often claim that their whole movement is about boundaries.
They claim that they’re TERFs because they care about the boundaries of “””females””” (by which they mean cis women and other afab people) who don’t want to be around “””males””” (by which they mean trans women). They claim they’re TERFs because they care about the boundaries of (cis) lesbians who don’t like penises, because according to their narrative, trans activists want to force all cis lesbians to interact with penises. On top of this ridiculous nonsense, they put some legitimate feminist boundary-related concerns into their narrative (such as pregnant people’s legitimate need for bodily autonomy and boundaries relating to their own bodies, and the need to end rape culture and protect women’s boundaries regarding sexual consent), but spin these concerns to make it seem like trans women somehow perpetuate and benefit from the current system that fights against these needs. Many times, I’ve seen TERFs essentially claim that the purpose of their movement is to fight to enforce women’s boundaries. (And by “women” they mean afab people.)
And yet, the fact that they completely, shamelessly ignore the boundaries of many tumblr users (most of whom are “””female””” by TERFs’ standards) who explicitly state that they don’t want TERFs interacting with their posts shows that they don’t really care about boundaries as much as they might like to think they do. They only care about them when it suits their agendas, or when they can spin it to suit their agendas. They claim that boundaries are the most important thing in the world when they can make it seem like trans women’s existence violates them, but they completely ignore explicitly-stated boundaries when they feel like doing it, claiming that it doesn’t really matter.
Whenever I hear the phrase “wheelchair-bound” I feel like I’m about to be transported to a sepia film shot in the mountains of Montana featuring me, a solemn cowboy who says one or two lines of dialogue max, and a rogue sheriff who plays by his own rules, all of whom are journeying together to a common point of interest.
date a trans girl that always says “look at your little leeeegs!” and “i forget how small you are!” every time you two walk past a mirror together
what autigender isn’t: a label used by non-autistic people, a label used by cis people, a label made up for attention, a label that causes harm to autistic people, a label that causes harm to trans people
what autigender is: a label used by a trans/nonbinary autistic person whose experience is that being autistic so deeply affects their understanding of their own gender that it’s hard or impossible to describe their gender as anything other than “autistic,” or to otherwise see their gender as separate from their autism
aces: literally talk about nothing but their sexual feelings in excruciating detail 24/7
also aces: how dare The Allos expect us to ever talk about what we want or don’t want from a relationship like normal human beings, don’t they understand that asking us to disclose our Ace Status is extremely stressful and therefore aphobic
Hey maybe don’t sexualize aces pretending we talk about our “sexual feelings in excruciating detail” all day, as a WoC I really don’t find it cute like it’s sexualizing and incredibly out of line and harmful and I don’t care how much you hate us just stop holy shit
And yeah as an ace I also refuse to act like a “normal human being” sure
Like when aces say comparable shit they get rightfully called out bc it’s shitty and harms a lot of oppressed groups, but then it frequently gets done to aces and frequently by the same ppl who’ll call aces out for comparable shit and suddenly it’s supposed to be okay?
Like this crap is really creepy and toxic and did I mention please stop
like i said in my tags this was about specific people who were literally saying this exact stuff elsewhere
you guys have literally built your movement around micro-identity labels that already include unnecessary details about your (lack of) sexual preferences. so yeah, “sexual feelings” in this case also includes “lack of sexual feelings” because either way that’s more information than anyone needs to know about someone else’s sex life (or lack thereof) that they’re not directly involved in. pointing that out =/= sexualizing anyone
also i’m sorry buddy but refusing to speak with a potential romantic partner about what kind of expectations you both have about your relationship (and, specifically, whether or not it includes sex) because it makes you uncomfortable is…. not normal behavior lmao. that’s what this post was referring to, not aceness in itself but i mean whatever
anyway this is all im gonna say about this so tbh just block me if it bothers you
Don’t say “aces” and then pretend aces don’t get to be upset about this sort of nasty generalization and sexualiztion. That crap does not just affect one specific person, and in your second paragraph u make it very clear again it’s about all of us. And yeah saying we talk about our “sexual feelings in excruciating detail 24/7″ is in fact sexualizing and not harmlessly pointing anything out
But okay good to know u don’t care and don’t care how it affects me as a WoC thanks for the racism/misogynoir it’s what I’ve come to expect from ppl who ate aces/aros lol have a good day
Eta: also bonus points for saying talking with anyone the person doesn’t have sex with/who’s not directly involved in their “sex life” about sex is TMI like that’s super sex-shaming and toxic but okay. Also my orientation is not a graphic detail about anything omg. wow. wow
As an allosexual person let me just say that WE ALSO talk about our sexual feelings frequently. I talk all the time about shit like “wow I’m so gay, I’m gay as hell for her” and guess what! That is me talking about my sexual attraction to someone! But if an ace does it, yucky, that’s TMI, they’re dirty and inappropriate, right?? Wrong. Stop oversexualizing aces.
^^^ What they said
As a person of color it really makes me uncomfortable that you’re oversexualizing my orientation and that you’re actually taking issue with people telling you not to.
Like, my existance is already either oversexualized or any sexuality is stripped from me, so maybe acknowledge that this is a shit post instead of coming up with a half-asses explanation as to how “it isn’t what it looks like!!” Because it’s exactly what it looks like.
they said aces talk about their orientation too much, and in too much detail. and then said that aces aren’t talking to their romantic partners about their orientations, which is bad. and then said this isn’t about aceness specifically, despite Only naming aces in the post
aces talk about sex too much AND too little. i think the problem is that you haven’t met an ace person in real life and you’re just getting your info from a movement trying to defame them tbh
“if lgbt+ people have always existed then why aren’t they in history books?” shit. you got us sharon. you’re right, we’re a recent invention. the truth is, chad, gay people were invented in 1974 when there was a m*a*s*h episode about a gay soldier. bisexuality wasn’t invented until freddie mercury wrote “bicycle race” in the late 70s. the song starts with him going “BI” really loudly and we were like hey thats a cool idea lets be into multiple genders. and then ellen invented lesbians in the late 90s on her sitcom that was pretty cool. please don’t be mad at me fellow gays i just thought it was about time to give up the ruse, donna over here already figured it out anyway
so i might have an angry rant going but.. i want you all to start being more intersectional with things.. because this isn’t good enough.
when you are marginalised in many ways, there will be overlaps of traits, and you will have a specific experience from being multiply marginalised.
very often this will be labelled as intersecting marginalised identities… that is literally what intersectionality means – you recognise that people who are marginalised in multiple ways have a specific unique experience from that.
i’m autistic, and i’m queer. this shapes me and makes my experience among autistic and queer people differently from the straight and allistic people in the respective communities.
additionally, a huge part of autism is not grasping social constructs, and struggling to conform to social and cultural things.. a lot of conceptions of straightness is artificial and cultural.
this means that a large part of my perception of straight society will be impacted by me being autistic. i struggle to relate to others’ experiences, and i find a lot to be performative… and you know, as a queer person – i find it beneficial to think of it this way too.
and i literaly cannot just say that these things are because i’m one of the things.. i’m not autistic sometimes, queer other times.. i’m always autistic and queer.
i have an intersecting marginalised experience.
shitting on people who literally label this intersecting experience, is being dismissive of and not recognising properly that people can be marginalised in multiple ways, and it is not intersectional activism.
so please stop.. and perhaps recognise that reality isn’t always your black-and-white social theories on what lgbt+ is and what disability is.. and perhaps don’t throw people under the bus who already have a hard time fitting into multiple communities.
i see this shit mostly coming from allistic lgbt+ people, and i just want you all to know this is not ok.. and you all are making lgbt+ spaces unsafe and unwelcoming for people who are multiply marginalised with being disabled/nd + lgbt+.
despite all the deceit and distraction people make out of it… the kind of transmisogynistic reactionary ideologies that many people have.. does definitely have negative consequences for all lgbt+ people, including cis lg people.
a lot of people will often pretend that their ideology is about the preserving of cis lg people.. but imo, the way people stigmatise epicene or androgynous traits, or things that break off from straight or cis norms…
has rarely distinguisher on a societal level for who it fucks over. by this i mean.. if you antagonise people for dressing in ways that do not conform to what gender they are perceived as by people in general..
then that antagonism will have consequences that will not distinguish between various lgbt+ people.
to put it simply… your transphobia will hurt cis lgb people too, as a lot of aspects of cissexism manifests in similar ways to heterosexism.
and i feel it does not really help that these reactionaries often align themselves with the kind of crowd that would support conversion therapy, sodomy laws, and any laws that discriminate against The Queers..
let’s be real here.. if you fail to be intersectional and inclusive of all lgbt+ people, you’re not really helping any of us… and you’re probably just contributing to stigma and oppression by antagonising us.
neurodivergent people: validation is extremely important to me because it’s nice to be told that I’m not just making up my symptoms and other people have experienced the same things
marginalized people: validation is extremely important to me because it’s nice to be told that I’m not just making up my oppression and other people have experienced the same things
abuse survivors: validation is extremely important to me because it’s nice to be told that I’m not just making up my abuse and other people have experienced the same things
some shitpipe crawling out of a gutter somewhere: time to make a meme about not being valid
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