i just did the BOFA thing to my mum and she goes “that’s very rude” and I said “i’m sorry, i meant it as a parody” and she said “of what?” then i said “a parod-eez nuts” and i heard my dad laugh from the other room

“sweater puppies” is actually the only good name for boobs, but like, what am i meant to do about it here. “jumper puppies” wouldn’t even compare

introducing yourself on webforums fifteen years ago like:

bogleech:

You: uhhhhh hi I’m new i guess, just wanna chat about my favorite show too or whatever

iNvAd3rJ1M posted: *pounces* HELLOoOOOO NEW PERSON!!! *throws confetti*

911_NVR-FRGT posted: Hi there! You’ll find a Relaxed Atmosphere Here in Our Community! *points* Beer is In The Fridge, Curfew Is At 9! Haha I’m old

SSJgoku1994 posted: I am a pineapple! Monkeys!!!!!

Drag0n~Swords posted: Forsooth, a stranger doth enter the realm!

dumbledoreftw posted: Welcome! Hope you stick around! We don’t bite….. much!!

Greg posted: HITLER WAS A MISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS AND ILL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY AIDS IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Lady*Unicorns*76 posted: “lol” (Laughing Out Loud!) don’t worry about greg sweetie! He’s just our little pet troll and you get used to him!! 😉 <3<3<3

peteseeger:

if you have the same views on sex and gender as the trump administration you maybe shouldn’t call yourself a radical

golfgalaxy:

puttting macking cheese in the michael wave

you fuckinng dumbasses are wearing glasses during sex?

newtgeiszler:

hyrude:

am i expected to find the g spot by echolocation?

you looking inside the pussy with your eyes? you crawling in there like antman?

rithmeres:

please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.

zadiest:

i refuse to die until things are better and that is a threat

capacity:

I can’t believe I’m me, of all people

cute-gay-boy27:

felicityrosejones:

u know u really like a song when u get goosebumps just thinking about listening to it

Little Einsteins dub step remix