this is the bad place because there’s no such thing as fucking “peeps” in australia
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my trying to relate to my son: that’s so un-fortnightly of you
son, that C+ on your last math test is so cringe
son, your band practice is like ASMR to my ears
Son you wanna go yeet the baseball with your old man
dark web lifehacks
did people really ever refer to cum as ‘Splooge’. did that really happen & why did we let it
Maybe dogs lick us so much because they know there’s bones beneath our skin
This is the worst one by far, thanks
my cat is a shoulder cat!!!!! i just have been holding them wrong for 2 Years
remember that cummies is sjw bitcoins
you have to get yourself out of bad places. you need to resist the temptation to let everything slip and become apathetic & cynical toward yourself and your life. you need to accept that it takes time to change and it’s ok to fall over as long as u get back up. every morning is a new start and things don’t have to be this way forever. you can heal and you can change.
why did i try weed omg ima die i feel like a a dvd player
this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i’m losing it
new favorite brand of humor:
mixing different kinds of scales, such as:
- The Scoville-Schmidt scale, for measuring how many wasps you can eat
- The Schmidt-Fujita scale, for measuring wasp storms
- The Kinsey-Kardashev scale, for measuring how gay a civilization is
- The Mohs-Scoville scale, for how measuring hard a pepper is
- The Mohs-Kinsey scale, for measuring how glam you are
- The Kardashev-Scoville scale, for measuring how civilized a pepper is
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