hello…. i am the guardian of this dungeon….. terrors and treasures alike await you within……. you may only enter if you answer me my ominously specific hypotheticals three

to begin…. hypothetically speaking would you rather a mimic ate your arm or your leg…. hypothetically

clitcheese:

tiny brain: playing a dragonborn to breathe fire

big brain: playing a dragonborn to be a member of a Proud Warrior Race like a fantasy klingon

galaxy brain: playing a dragonborn to lay eggs

interdimensional brain: playing any other race and still laying eggs because nothing in the books says you can’t

andhumanslovedstories:

carnival-phantasm:

king-of-heroes-official:

orcs aren’t really mosters tbh. they’re demihumans. it’s barely above wanting to fuck catgirls.

This is a hot take that could possibly lead to chaos in the already fragile monster fucking community

If I look at a mouth and instinctually know how to kiss it with my human mouth, it is not a monster, it is a variation on a person, probably with larger than average teeth. It isn’t a monster until I have to strategize

bogleech:

It’s wild to think about how our blood is “made” by our bones but it’s virtually never addressed in our culture. Our skeletons are our blood making organ. That should be so important to us.

Every fictional skeleton should have blood AND bone powers.

D&D Hardmode

brunhiddensmusings:

aztechnology:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

Nobody in the party is allowed to have a backstory with dead parents.

Too easy, meet me in my gauntlet. D&D Nightmare mode: Nobody in the party is allowed to have a sad backstory.

your party all has to schedule time to visit their live parents roughly once a month even if that conflicts with their normal quest flow. bringing souvenirs for your younger siblings is encouraged

emberdm:

D&D 5e Monster Creation Table (Version 2)

Here’s a remake of the monster creation table I released awhile back. Very small tweaks were made to it, nothing big. But I just wanted to update it visually a little bit and add a little more for anyone interested in using it.

This is what I use for creating my own custom creatures and making stats for the creatures of various games. This table was made after I collected all the averages of monsters in the Monster Manual and Volo’s Guide then tried to makes sense of all the numbers.

As before, feel free to use as a baseline for your own creations.

Source: emberdm

mayaoishiina:

me: hey, make sure to give me your characters backstory so i can include it in the campaign, don’t worry about sending too much or making it too detailed the more you send me the more I can work in about their past

my players:

[id: a decal in a rear window reads “Born On A Mountain / Raised In A Cave / Truckin And Fuckin / Is All I Crave”]

[id: a 4chan post labelled ‘That Guy’. It reads:

>Playing DnD
>Wizard gets into a fight with an important NPC
>When
the wizard realizes who the NPC is, he apologizes and asks “As a token
of my goodwill, would you like me to make you a magical sword?”
>NPC agrees
>Wizard casts polymorph and turns them into a sword.
>Argues that the NPC shouldn’t have a will save because they agreed to it.]

image–descriptions:

[id: a tweet by i_amJeremy, or @dr5bludgeoning, saying,

“Dm: you see a warehouse in the distance

Player: is that like a werewolf, but instead of a wolf they turn into a house

Dm: *frantically writing down stats* it is now.

#dnd”

/end id]

Source: dnd-homebrew5e

nausicaaharris:

i should be going to bed but i realized that i’ve never shared here that the guy who made eberron essentially said that the reason he thinks elves aren’t considered adults until age 100 is because they spend so much time at elf practice

(to wit: elves train to do things in the exact same way their ancestors did and it takes them literal decades, and, like, they’ve got decades, but it’s fucking elf practice)