what if people wrote author notes in essays like people do in fanfics
A/N: omg here comes the thesis statement!! >_<
A/N: almost at the minimum word requirement this was soooo hard
professor: shut up and write idiot -__-
me: eep o_o!!
Op im proud to annouce that im legally allowed to kill you now
Tag: text
i was just in the checkout at wal mart and the lady said “how are you doing tonight” and without thinking i responded “well im at walmart at 1:30 in the morning buying two very small cheesecakes so i could probably be doing better” and i dont know if that was funnyman tumblr jokester chase or genuinely calling for help chase
Me
actually it was me and identity theft is a crime
a girl sent me one of those astrology things that said her sign and my sign were very sexually compatible, is that flirting? she’s bi btw
tenderlesbian-deactivated201807:
do y’all hear yourselves?
“At least Nixon was-” please stop, Nixon was a fascistic lunatic. When Daniel Ellsberg revealed the Pentagon Papers, Nixon had his goons break into Ellsberg’s psychiatrist’s office to find things to discredit him with. He wanted to firebomb the Brookings Institute. He tanked the 1968 peace talks with Vietnam because he wanted a war to help him win the election. The most annoying thing liberals do is act like modern conservatives are a disgrace to the noble conservatives of the past. They’ve always been this bad.
Before Steven was born Amethyst used to say ‘fuck’ all the time & so when he was a baby Greg had to sit her down and explain that she has to stop swearing around Steven because he’s young & impressionable
So Amethyst is like “but that’s my favourite word, when will be stop being young & impressionable so I can say it again??”
And Greg is like “uhh I don’t know, 15 I guess? 15 is probably old enough”
“Got it”
flash forward to Steven’s fifteenth birthday and he is woken at dawn by Amethyst yelling “wake the FUCK up Steven it’s FUCKING TIME”
& he spends the entire day losing his mind
Steven: w-what’s happening
Garnet: *deadpan* Amethyst just got her favourite word back
Amethyst: *running around the house* FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Greg: what’s going on
Amethyst: you said once Steven was 15 I could say fuck again
Greg, who only hazily recalls the conversation in question: ……i DID?
Amethyst: *runs outside* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK *distant sounds of spooked birds*
Pearl: Steven the *whispering* F-word is a bad word that Amethyst USED to say before-
Steven: I know what fuck means Pearl
Amethyst: *stopping dead in her tracks* WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT??
Pearl: who taught you that word mister!!
Steven: um… Lars and Sadie… *mumbling* five years ago…
Amethyst: I’ve been denying myself my favourite word for FIVE YEARS for NOTHING??
Greg: uh even if he knows what it means it’s still not really appropriate for you t-
Amethyst: *running outside* FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCK
Steven: …
Greg: …
Pearl: …
Garnet: …*quietly* fuck
Everyone else: O_O
Garnet: what. I missed it too
also Amethyst made a banner that says HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY STEVEN in very large writing
Connie: what’s going on
Steven: Amethyst is allowed to say fuck now
Connie: oh! are we all allowed to say fuck now??
Greg & Pearl in unison: NO!!
Peridot: what’s fuck
Amethyst: *whispers in Peridot’s ear*
Peridot: huh. if anything that raises further questions.
Connie: because I’m not allowed to say fuck at my house so I’d really appreciate it if I could say fuck here-
Pearl: NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SAY FUCK!!
Everyone else: ……………….
Steven, Amethyst & Connie: *losing their minds* OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
do you ever tire of how, like, dramatic anxiety is?? it’s like. bitch. bitch. it’s not that serious. we’ll live. it’ll probably be a pain in the ass, but we’ll live. so stop making me feel like i’m actively dying.
A good prison nickname would be mitochondria.
fire signs are just sexy idiots
You really gonna
Just gonna post that with no context huh. Not even gonna throw me a bone in the tags
FFS i don’t know anything about astrology, i though this was about fire EXIT signs
ok but to add on to that post
“to capture the narrative aspect of the original stories, the best way Sherlock Holmes can be adapted to film is fake-documentary-style with Watson holding the shaky camera”
good yes
but consider the episodic nature of how the original stories were first published, in one of the most universal means of entertainment of that day, often utilizing mild cliffhangers and building mystery over time with lurid themes
so what i mean to say, is,
dr watson would be a youtuber 100%
“KILLER GHOST DOG???????????????? 😱😱😱😱😱😱 BASKERVILLE VAYCAY PART 2″
“hey guys remember to please like and subscribe!!!”
STORYTIME: MY BEST FRIEND FAKED HIS OWN DEATH (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us
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