Tag: text

wormsounds:

wormsounds:

Spiro makes you piss a lot because HRT reduces the size of your balls, thus also reducing the maximum amount of pee that can be stored in them

I woke up with this joke already in my brain and I demand you all acknowledge it

irrelevantinfinity:

moonlusts:

naked iphones r beautiful but at what cost

Another iPhone

recklessravager:

gjarper:

you guys really just don’t check your fucking phones huh? you don’t give a fuck and a half about your notifications? you just carry it around with you everywhere but don’t actually go on it? maybe someone texted you. maybe you received an email. maybe you need to take your daily duolingo lesson. but no, you really just can’t be bothered. fuck you

The Duolingo owl wrote this post

shock:

shock:

none of you could ever convince me that 50 first dates isnt a horror movie like just slap some scary music over that shit and its terrifying the whole thing

imagine waking up, you don’t remember why you’re on a boat or how you got 6 months pregnant, there’s a video tape next to your bed that says ‘PLAY ME’ and you play it and you find out that adam sandler kidnapped you, you’re trapped on a boat in the middle of nowhere, apparently you’ve not only fucked before but you’ve already had a CHILD with him, and your memory will reset again in 24 hours the way it has every day for the past 10 years since a fatal accident

cheeso:

“the fffuuuu rage face guy is actually the funniest joke” says st peter at he casts you out of heavens pearly gates. you clasp your sweaty palms together. “you mocked it"he said. “you thought it was shit”