I recall being in a conversation with a gatekeeper once (the sort of âmonosexual is a homophobic term!â âMOGWAI means kinky people count as queer!â âasexuals donât belong in the queer community!â type of asshole) and they said of a fictional character: âHeâs definitely gay.  Totally gay.  Maybe bisexual.  Queer at the very least.â
Thatâs when it clicked for me: Gatekeepers honestly think that any sexuality beyond straight and gay is just Gay Lite. Â Bisexual is half-gay, asexuality is, like, 0.05 percent gay, and just identifying as âqueerâ is a quarter-gay, maybe.
This is why they lose their shit so badly whenever someone thinks a character is bisexual and not gay, why they accuse others of erasing their representation. Â A bisexual is just half a lesbian, so how dare you try and water down our portrayal in the media! Â Asexuals are such Lite Gays that they might as well be straight, so donât you dare take away my representation with your ace headcanons!
Never mind if the source material itself is ambiguous. Â If itâs not gay or lesbian, itâs not real representation. Â If you donât want real representation, youâre siding with the straights.
Itâs such a pathetic and limited way of looking at the world. Â Iâd feel sorry for them if they werenât such jerks.
Some do this in relation to trans headcanons as well. Theyâll go into one hell of a performative outrage against TERFs and other assorted bigoted shits⌠and then have a fucking meltdown when a young trans man on this site says âI headcanon this character as a demisexual trans boyâ. This person got dogpiled by dozens of the usual suspects involved in the most virulent anti a-spec discourse, all of them shouting âsheâs a lesbian!â, âlesbian-only!!!!â The fact that all of this was over headcanons about the goddamn moon in the sky just made me cross myself and go âthese people are the future of the community? I fucking weep for it, then.â Honestly, someone can post all they want about how âTERFs are Badâ. it becomes mere performative drivel when one engages in pretty damned TERFy bullshit in turn.
Also, heâre as example of this particular dogpiling in action re: a bisexual headcanon. Notice, again, the usual suspects involved and the rejection of any headcanon other than gay. But sure, sure, m-spec people and a-spec people and trans and nonbinary and agender people are ~*~totally valid~*~ and other meaningless buzz-words tossed round like candy for placation. Valid until any of the aforementioned groups want to work at seeing themselves represented by identifying with a character and having personal headcanons for a character whose sexuality and gender are never black-on-white stated in a give canon.Â
if u ever think âdoes this gender or orientationâ really need a flag?â just remember
itâs been what, a year of SGA Discourse? if i google SGA, i get pages about gardening and random businesses with those initials. if i google âsame gender attractionâ i get a few resources, but the top pages are christian and mormon sources and a lot of them call it a sin.
if i google MOGAI, i get resources. lots of resources and pages discussing terminology. the first page of Google has one link to âMOGAI hates lesbiansâ, written by a Discourser whoâs entirety writing about how âallosexualâ is insulting, but the rest are all pretty positive.
so just. I donât think itâs ethical to tell people that LGBT+ is synonymous with âSGA and Trans peopleâ because itâs just a conversion therapy honeypot.
You realize when you look sga up it usually shows results for same sex attraction which is not the same and sga is derived from same gender loving
me turning in my graduate thesis: yeah i didnât use any ⌠whatâs it calledâŚ. da-ta-basses? and i didnât read any scientific journals to back up my claims, but i DID google my thesis statement and hit up a few google keywords for my abstract, and look at all these sick sources i got from buzzfeed and yahoo answers, so i know WITHOUT A DOUBT that iâm right and nobody else could be more right than me. google knows everything, yâallÂ
are questioning kids going through databases now? kids google, that was my point. this wasnât about anything but what kids are going to find if they look it up, because that is how they educate themselves outside of school and parents. and it brings up overwhelmingly christian sites. Thatâs All. Iâm sorry this doesnât have 20 citations and itâs not peer reviewed but iâm just saying theyâre going to be harmed and shamed if thatâs the acronym we tell kids about.
you didnât mention questioning kids, or kids in general, in your original statement. you literally just said it was about what âpeopleâ thought. donât fucking backtrack and lie to make it seem like you were âuwu just protecting the kidsâ because you ended up looking like a fool lmao
your post reads that YOU, in your infinite wisdom, are deciding whether MOGAI or SGA is a better acronym to use based on the first page of google, ignoring that a) the first page of google results is not a valid form of sources, b) that the google algorithm is replacing âgenderâ with âsexâ (since it searches for terms similar to the one you actually type in), and c) that google (like many search engines) is notorious for boosting pages that pay them money to the front page, which thereby banishes thousands of other legitimate results to the back of google hell.
sorry, your post doesnât mention anything about kids, or questioning people, or LGBT people at all. the only context is someone who doesnât actually know how to use google trying to pretend that their google results are the ultimate authority.
i said itâs unethical to send anyone looking for conversion therapy resources, and yes, especially questioning kids because theyâre the most likely to google this stuff and are especially vulnerable. These are the first three results, are you going to pretend this is okay?
Thatâs the first page of results on my mobile. There are 2 results that are in anyway positive and not related to conversion therapy, which seem to be results based on my location.
This is what I get on my laptop – Theyâre literally all advocating for conversion therapy. I donât know why the results look different, but my laptop isnât giving any location-based results, so that may have something to do with it. I donât know what the inner workings of google look like, and Iâm not claiming to know. If anyone wants to show me a google search that gives less pro-conversion results, I can open my submission box for you. All I remember is when I was figuring out my identity, I relied a lot on google, and I know none of these results would have helped. I know googling words isnât fucking âscientificâ, but itâs what I remember doing as a youngster. kids, especially queer kids, get their sex ed from google. like, Iâm not saying SGA discourers are pro-conversion therapy, Iâm just saying this is such a specifically tumblr-discourser term that there isnât enough use of the term to outnumber that of homophobic Christians.
and holy fuck is it that hard to say gay and bi and pan? and MLM and WLW? Sapphic and Achillean? Thereâs always better vocabulary you can use and itâs just not justifiable to keep spreading conversion therapy terms.
het nobody is queer they are literally opposing concepts
I donât like this idea but Iâm having a hard time articulating why r/n Iâll get back to it later.
Yeah I think I got this now.
This positions the western colonially-derived concept of gayness as the only true queerness and only conditionally permits other forms of queerness which do not abide by that western colonial framework.
This segments and disenfranchises hetero trans women whom I should not have to explain to you are being murdered by the dozen ON THIS DAY OF ALL DAYS. Does that not sound like marginalization to you? The more I think about this the angrier I get.
I mean itâs a fuckin trope to bring it up but there were plenty of man loving trans women fighting at stonewall. Is that not queer enough for you? Iâm really growing ever more disgusted with this exclusionary process.
The whole point of the narrative of queerness is to be liberating. Revolutionary and destructive to the order of patriarchy, heteronormativity, cisnormativity, to break open the neat airtight containers and allow movement and the freedom to self-position, to self-define, and that cannot be accomplished with this kind of resistance to change.
Does someone who is transgender and attracted to another gender not experience the kind of abuses that we do as trans lesbians? Do they not experience violence, do they not experience being bludgoned with slurs, do they not experience being taught to loathe their own body for not meeting an impossible standard? Do they not experience the violation of bodily integrity which comes with an unwanted puberty?
Do intersex people not experience a kind of violation of bodily integrity as well? Do they not experience stigmatization and the pressure to conceal what and who they are, the reality of their body and the effect that has on their identity?
Do asexual people not go for years believing that they are fundamentally broken, as we go through years believing the same about ourselves?
Why do you want to hand the keys to the fucking kingdom to the very cisgay motherfuckers who would kick YOUR ASS out of the movement in a hot second, autogynephile? Like, love yourself, goddess almighty.
Jesus fucking Christ the longer it goes on the worse it gets
I mean, at least theyâre finally being honestâŚ
Call it a controversial observation BUT I donât think Kimberle Crenshaw introduced intersectionality and privilege theory so yaw could play these little Regina George style identity turf war reindeer games every time you feel bitter about another axis getting increased visibility.
anyway i hope that my fellow lesbians are mostly past the sentiment that dating bi girls immediately implies a âtangential relationship to men.â
 because you donât know the dating history of every single bi girl on the planet, so youâre making ugly generalizations about a group of women who have, throughout our history, stood by our side and who face struggles similar to ours. like yes, men are fucking awful, and as lesbians we face horrible and often violent lesbophobia from men, but that isnât on bi girls, itâs not their responsibility and itâs not their fault, and to write off other wlw simply because of their ***potential*** past or future choice of partners (again, you donât know fuck all about who bi women are dating, who they will date, whether they have a preference for men or women, etc, and even if you did, it doesnât fucking matter) is ugly and biphobic and yes it does contribute to the specific struggles bi women face, like higher rates of intimate partner violence. writing bi girls off as people who are just susceptible to menâs violence by virtue of being attracted to them and blaming them for whatever happens to them due to this is victim blaming and ugly, and we need to fucking do better than this.Â
so no. most lesbians arenât ~wary~ of dating bi girls. biphobes donât get to speak for the rest of us who would rather stand in solidarity with our bi sisters than speak over them and play identity politics.Â
Absolutely, and you donât know the dating history of lesbians too which can also include men, I know it does for me. Relationships either last or they donât, and so in general focusing on past and future relationships in any context is so unhealthy for your current one. Great post.
this is also a good point! i didnât want to get into the gold star bullshit bc a) this was a positivity post for bi girls and b) if i got started on that mess iâd be here for hours but yes!
Chungo- (sexual/romantic/platonic/alterous/aesthetic/flexible/cuck): feeling attraction to a person if and only if they say the word âchungoâ at least once a day. (the word âchungyâ is also acceptable) A valuable part of the LGBTQIAAA2PCGSJOAHZOZHSLAHSOSHSKXJDIDJALSGELSGDODGSOEHOWHSODHDOABSDBSLWHEO329Q682393G4O5B5PSIDGOW8WFNSODOSSHđđđđđđ đđđ đđ ąđđŹâđŞđđđđđđđđđđđđ đŚđđđŚđHSJSLAVSOSSH+ community.
its been a long journey, but you guys? ive finally found an orientation for me
i hope i can count on your support
ive recently discovered myself as chungoalterous ,, im so happy to be in such a supportive community where i really feel loved for being my true chungo self
this is so embarassingÂ
The worst part is I just assumed this was a cishet anti-sjw but nope its just a reg
Wouldnât it be cool if lgbp aces & aros were acknowledged by the community weâre ostensibly supposed to be a part of as more than rhetorical devices/weapons to bring out against the Her Ace/Aro invasion
Like remember when lgbp aces were talking about how over sexualized and therefore inaccessible a lot of safe spaces were and were told they were homophobic and disrespecting their own history
Remember when aro lgbp people were told that their very existence is the cause of nonstraight people being oversexualized
Iâm exhausted and tired
I made exactly this post months ago and I canât tell you how mad Iâm getting that lgbp aces and aros are still having to point this out. All these people were nowhere to be found when people were saying bi aro women are responsible for the hypersexualization of bi women. That argument has shown up again with plenty of ace/aro groups, and no one says a word. Non-ace/non-aro people just fucking disperse when it comes to actually defending us, but want points for taking ten seconds out of ignoring our existence to shit on a specific group of ace/aro people.Â
Seriously though when aphobes say cake jokes are cringy or that we âstoleâ dragons, theyâre trying to make it so a-specs feel like we canât or shouldnât have light-hearted representations of ourselves. And then they say that more serious positivity is âdiscourse.â If we play by their rules, we donât get anything positive at all. If we play by their rules, the only context we or anyone else sees us in is âdebatesâ about whether we have any right to exist.
Weâre people, dammit. Weâre not invaders or boogeymen or evil âapologistsâ or whatever the propaganda of the day says. We get to make jokes and be nice to each other and eat desserts and do fun things. We get to be happy or cute and present ourselves as such, if we want, because we are, weâre allowed to be that, weâre not bad, weâre not some horrific danger that has to agree to a muzzle to be let into anything and we should resist attempts to portray us as such.
We exist. We are people. We are allowed to be people. Iâm going to take my cake and ice cream and dragons and words and Iâm going to be happy and queer and you canât stop me.
Wait hold up are discoursers using literal word replacing browser extensions. Did y’all fire up Ponify and replace âaphobeâ with âhomogayâ and thats why youâre all commenting like âwow violence against lgbt people. How progressiveâ when some rando is like âMafalda will roundhouse kick all the aphobesâ or whatever? Is it because you didnt realize your word replacer changed the word and u just??? Is that what happened????
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