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ftmfightingyourbeliefs:

clitemoji:

“mogai tumblr made it hard to figure out my gender/sexuality when first coming out”

consider: You don’t have to have a vendetta against queers with the “weird” genders and sexualities, especially teenagers, because you used to consider yourself one of them

also consider: the answer to “my identity was hard to figure out” is not to make it harder for other people. erasing other people’s identities will not make your own more visible. MOGAI people actually quite often find it helpful to have words for their identities, like yourself, and everyone else in the world

also consider: your anger is misdirected. heteronormativity hurt you several billion times more than the split attraction model ever could. No one who IDs as frostgender has the social capital to gaslight and coerce children from birth into a gender. straight and cis people are 100% to blame for the shame we’re made to feel for our identities and placing blame on young queers achieves nothing but furthering that shame. there is no good political goal that can be achieved by bullying mogais you nasty fucks

I’m just frustrated because of how much these people set me back. Even now, I constantly doubt myself because “What if the only reason I feel this way is because I’m still confused?” Things would have been so much easier if I would have been properly taught the relations between gender and sex from the beginning instead of being fed the bullshit that this community fed me. Heteronormativity has not hurt me. This community has. I’m not trying to make it harder for anyone. In fact, I’m just trying to spread the truth so they don’t have to be so confused and frustrated for longer than they have to.

“Heteronormativity has not hurt me. This community has” thanks, anti-sjw and transmedicalist guy, count me enlightened. wait are you saying cishet culture has taught you better about sex and gender than ‘this community’ has?

complaint that won’t go anywhere

patchun:

We’ve mostly all seen @healthbyholly‘s blog posts. Generally the response to almost all of them is that of disgust at what she’s said. In the comments section, people rally together in a so-called just rage and spew some pretty horrible insults at her. She’s been called a pedophile and an exhibitionist, and I’m sure before she closed her inbox to blogs she doesn’t follow she got quite the hate mail. “Fuck the OP.” “OP is a pedophile.” “are you fucking serious?” These are the kinds of comments that make up 99% of all of her post responses.

And I know, that’s pretty much just a part of humanity. It’s not really shocking or anything. But, this instant moral rejection is really, really bad for humanity’s moral evolution. Regardless of whether you agree with what Holly says, there is a term in logic for attacking a person rather than their argument: ad hominem. And it’s terrible. By viciously attacking Holly, I’m sure you guys have made her ignore comments on posts and close her inbox. Instead of having a civil argument about something that seems extreme to you, you instantly shut it down and attack the person who brought it up. 

In humanity’s past and still today, especially where I live, this is how homosexuality is treated. If you argue that being gay is okay, you’re automatically assumed to be gay- and by separating you from them, people are able to justify putting little to no thought into your words or your argument. They’re able to justify “righteously” condescending on you and grouping up together to attack you for being ridiculous and wrong. This reaction, even to the most seemingly extreme viewpoint, is very harmful and is part of why humans have not developed morally as much as they have technologically. If you instead take time to discuss the other person’s viewpoint and bring up yours, you will both learn a bit more about the other and why they think what they do, and the truth seems much more likely to be found that way- than for both sides to shut each other off. 

i checked the healthbyholly tag and found out that humanity is fundamentally irredeemable it’s been fun everyone

rhodanum:

lauralot89:

I recall being in a conversation with a gatekeeper once (the sort of “monosexual is a homophobic term!” “MOGWAI means kinky people count as queer!” “asexuals don’t belong in the queer community!” type of asshole) and they said of a fictional character: “He’s definitely gay.  Totally gay.  Maybe bisexual.  Queer at the very least.”

That’s when it clicked for me: Gatekeepers honestly think that any sexuality beyond straight and gay is just Gay Lite.  Bisexual is half-gay, asexuality is, like, 0.05 percent gay, and just identifying as “queer” is a quarter-gay, maybe.

This is why they lose their shit so badly whenever someone thinks a character is bisexual and not gay, why they accuse others of erasing their representation.  A bisexual is just half a lesbian, so how dare you try and water down our portrayal in the media!  Asexuals are such Lite Gays that they might as well be straight, so don’t you dare take away my representation with your ace headcanons!

Never mind if the source material itself is ambiguous.  If it’s not gay or lesbian, it’s not real representation.  If you don’t want real representation, you’re siding with the straights.

It’s such a pathetic and limited way of looking at the world.  I’d feel sorry for them if they weren’t such jerks.

Some do this in relation to trans headcanons as well. They’ll go into one hell of a performative outrage against TERFs and other assorted bigoted shits… and then have a fucking meltdown when a young trans man on this site says ‘I headcanon this character as a demisexual trans boy’. This person got dogpiled by dozens of the usual suspects involved in the most virulent anti a-spec discourse, all of them shouting ‘she’s a lesbian!’, ‘lesbian-only!!!!’ The fact that all of this was over headcanons about the goddamn moon in the sky just made me cross myself and go ‘these people are the future of the community? I fucking weep for it, then.’ Honestly, someone can post all they want about how ‘TERFs are Bad’. it becomes mere performative drivel when one engages in pretty damned TERFy bullshit in turn.

Also, he’re as example of this particular dogpiling in action re: a bisexual headcanon. Notice, again, the usual suspects involved and the rejection of any headcanon other than gay. But sure, sure, m-spec people and a-spec people and trans and nonbinary and agender people are ~*~totally valid~*~ and other meaningless buzz-words tossed round like candy for placation. Valid until any of the aforementioned groups want to work at seeing themselves represented by identifying with a character and having personal headcanons for a character whose sexuality and gender are never black-on-white stated in a give canon. 

clitemoji:

clitemoji:

TERFs: gender isn’t a feeling

also TERFS: pretty much always describing a sense of belonging and community with other cis women, a deep desire to protect cis women & girls, literally talk of women’s spaces as sacred and holy and beautiful 🙊

TERFs: all male children undergo male socialisation

also TERFs: “gender neutral parenting is abusive”, offer no solutions to their own concept of male socialisation

bitterlesbiangrandma:

bitterlesbiangrandma:

Like a month ago I messaged a craft group about accessibility for wheelchairs and the answer I got was “there’s a lot of stairs but we have cute boys who can carry you”.
And it’s…not good. As a wheelchair bound person I largely depend on people when I want to go out and do *anything* so I’m used to it, I laugh it off, make an annoyed post about it and off I go. But I wanna just say a thing real quick.

Even if I wasn’t gay, wasn’t a survivor scared of men, getting help as a disabled person is just…Not a pleasant thing to us! Imagine for a sec how you’d feel being carried up a flight of stairs. You’re a grown person. You’re being touched in an awkward way. You’d rather do it yourself. You’re So Uncomfortable. It’s not where I look for the beginning of a romantic relationship.
So like…could abled people stop doing this thing where they think helping us in a condescending and infantilizing way is cute? Cause I’m real tired. Just get me a ramp or lift and I’m cool. I don’t need a dating service when I’m just trying to go about my day

If you’re abled please reblog it cause like…the more ppl knows the better